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Thank you for your comment. I came here to say roughly the same thing. Yes, in a way we are always using others as means to an end. But to make this interpreta

Thank you for your comment. I came here to say roughly the same thing. Yes, in a way we are always using others as means to an end. But to make this interpretation true, I have to really push the boundaries of what I mean by using others, by mean, and by end. However, let us try to think this from a different perspective. How about what others in this _experiment_ felt? How would you feel if someone came out of nowhere and asked you to give them this or that when you cannot even fathom why they are doing it? To me, this so-called therapy may work for the people exposing themselves in order to get exposed to negative reactions. But this is just a very self-centered way of treating other people as cardboard cutouts, not as real persons. They are merely background features like trees, cars or streetlights. In the end, maybe you get a kick out of getting out of your comfort zone. But you're also training yourself to be indifferent to the feelings of others. If that's the trade-off of this _therapy_, no thank you.

slibhb 5y ago
> But you're also training yourself to be indifferent to the feelings of others. Obsessive focus on the feelings and opinions of others (self consciousness) is at the root of many people's social anxiety. Complete indifference makes you a pyschopath but there's such a thing as being too concerned about other people's feelings.
- henriquemaia 5y ago
  Empathy is not being obsessive with the feelings of others. Others are as real people as you are. If you go that way, thinking of what others feel instead of empathizing with what they're experiencing, this immediately becomes an abstraction and you fail to realize the humanity, or lack of, in this.
  - slibhb 5y ago
    It's not a binary. Becoming more indifferent to other people is necessary for the kind of people who go through this sort of therapy. To open your mouth and speak to another person is to risk offending them. There are people who are so afraid of that possibility that they never speak. In that case, less empathy/more indifference is good.
    - henriquemaia 5y ago
      First of all, thanks for engaging. It's nice to think this through with the help of others. That being said, I have an issue with this being called 'therapy'. It may as well be, if we just think about the person receiving the benefit. However, it's a bit predatory through the lense of the other person. But it's like you said. It's not binary. Yes, it bothers me a little. Nonetheless, as with everything, it may have its uses. Again, thanks for your comments.
beaconstudios 5y ago
A good compromise would be something like asking people what the time is, or if they know any good restaurants in the area or something that isn't really asking them for something weird.
- munificent 5y ago
  But that's not rejection therapy. That's just talking to strangers, which is totally reasonable. The point of rejection therapy is to make a request in a pushy enough way for something that the other person doesn't want to do that they end up assertively saying no. It's not "friendly offer therapy" or "polite decline therapy".
  - beaconstudios 5y ago
    Alright then, how about asking out random people on a date after like a 2 minute conversation? That's a kind of rejection people often fear the most but it's also fairly normal to ask people out after a little small talk. My point is that you don't have to push other people into strange territory to get rejected.
    - munificent 5y ago
      > Alright then, how about asking out random people on a date after like a 2 minute conversation? If it's not your honest intention to date them, that's still a shitty thing to do. Would you want someone doing this to you?
      - beaconstudios 5y ago
        I was thinking that you'd actually ask out people you're attracted to. Why would you be nervous to be rejected by someone you wouldn't actually want to date and thus weren't invested in the answer?
        munificent 5y ago

slibhb 5y ago

> But you're also training yourself to be indifferent to the feelings of others. Obsessive focus on the feelings and opinions of others (self consciousness) is at the root of many people's social anxiety. Complete indifference makes you a pyschopath but there's such a thing as being too concerned about other people's feelings.

henriquemaia 5y ago
Empathy is not being obsessive with the feelings of others. Others are as real people as you are. If you go that way, thinking of what others feel instead of empathizing with what they're experiencing, this immediately becomes an abstraction and you fail to realize the humanity, or lack of, in this.
- slibhb 5y ago
  It's not a binary. Becoming more indifferent to other people is necessary for the kind of people who go through this sort of therapy. To open your mouth and speak to another person is to risk offending them. There are people who are so afraid of that possibility that they never speak. In that case, less empathy/more indifference is good.
  - henriquemaia 5y ago
    First of all, thanks for engaging. It's nice to think this through with the help of others. That being said, I have an issue with this being called 'therapy'. It may as well be, if we just think about the person receiving the benefit. However, it's a bit predatory through the lense of the other person. But it's like you said. It's not binary. Yes, it bothers me a little. Nonetheless, as with everything, it may have its uses. Again, thanks for your comments.

beaconstudios 5y ago

A good compromise would be something like asking people what the time is, or if they know any good restaurants in the area or something that isn't really asking them for something weird.

munificent 5y ago
But that's not rejection therapy. That's just talking to strangers, which is totally reasonable. The point of rejection therapy is to make a request in a pushy enough way for something that the other person doesn't want to do that they end up assertively saying no. It's not "friendly offer therapy" or "polite decline therapy".
- beaconstudios 5y ago
  Alright then, how about asking out random people on a date after like a 2 minute conversation? That's a kind of rejection people often fear the most but it's also fairly normal to ask people out after a little small talk. My point is that you don't have to push other people into strange territory to get rejected.
  - munificent 5y ago
    > Alright then, how about asking out random people on a date after like a 2 minute conversation? If it's not your honest intention to date them, that's still a shitty thing to do. Would you want someone doing this to you?
    - beaconstudios 5y ago
      I was thinking that you'd actually ask out people you're attracted to. Why would you be nervous to be rejected by someone you wouldn't actually want to date and thus weren't invested in the answer?
      - munificent 5y ago