5 ms·

Ask HN: How did you respond to finding school too easy?

My son will enter kindergarten soon. But he's mastered the main grade-level content already. He can read a few grade levels ahead, comprehend texts 1-2 grade levels ahead, can do math ~1 grade level ahead. He's also learning fast, so will be even further ahead when August rolls around. I'm sure many folks reading this were in a similar situation, and may have been forced to work on stuff that was 'too easy'. Do you remember how you felt? Did it slow down your learning (due to lowered expectations, wasted time etc.), or was it 'fine'?

smt88 5y ago
Your son will have plenty of opportunities to learn outside of school. School is an opportunity for him to learn the (arguably more important) social skills that he needs to succeed and be happy. Pushing him to skip grades or go to a special school is going to harm his social skills, which I know from experience. Let him be a normal kid, let him meet a variety of other people across the spectrum of intelligence, and supplement his education with extracurriculars and books.
yuppie_scum 5y ago
I am a little bitter about my parents’ decision to skip me ahead. In fact, I was given opportunities to cut corners on the advanced work as a result, and that led me to some bad habits as my schooling continued. I’d much rather have been the consistent leader in the clubhouse with my age peers than “meeting expectations” at the higher grade levels..
WheelsAtLarge 5y ago
I met a lady whos daughter was highly advanced in her ability to learn. She made sure that her child was enrolled in the proper grade for age to get her to be part of activities with her peers but she enrolled her in a local community college for her academic classes. She would take her to her college classes and stay outside the class until she was done. It was a full time job to care for her child. I don't know how old the little girl was but I would guess she was 10 or 11 years old. I wish I would have known her better so I could find out how things worked out for them. It's been years since this happened.
tamaharbor 5y ago
It’s kind of fun to consistently be at the head of your class.
- sp332 5y ago
  It's good to get attention from teachers when you're actually moving faster than the other students. If you move up to a level where you're average, you're going to get an average amount of attention.
sp332 5y ago
In general I agree with the other comments about social skill and connections. But remember you can often go up a grade or two for specific subjects, like math or reading or whatever. Don't be too sad if this doesn't work out, either. I got moved up to 3rd grade math in the middle of when they were teaching long multiplication and I was totally lost. I still aced the verbal section of the PSAT (much later lol) and got some good scholarships.
ceasesurthinko 5y ago
Make your kid do hard things after school or at home. Don't try to get him to skip grades, that usually has bad psychological effects on the kid (smaller, feel out of place, friends gone, sure did fuck alot of the people I know who skipped up later in life), and make sure to keep his work ethic in check- he will be breezing through the school work but you still want to instill lessons in him OUTSIDE of school that teach him not rely on his natural gifted talent and to always work hard. Get him into a sport or something, martial arts, coding in minecraft or roblox, teach him advanced math with a tutor, anything really that pushes him and makes him struggle. There are way too many gifted kids that breezed through school and upon entering college, end up having 0 work ethic and doing poorly because school never challenged them and their natural ability carried them through their entire childhood life. (I am one of them.)
- pschuegr 5y ago
  Seconding. Learning to put in the work is harder as you get older.
- Jugurtha 5y ago
  I agree. On the martial arts thing: make sure it's at a reputable place and an actual martial art (Judo, for example), not some kung-chu-aikido bullshit type of thing, unless the goal is only to burn calories and move around. You need competition and fights with a resisting opponent, not a dance session with someone who falls on queue. Not an exhibition "martial art". You need something where two people go at it and there's a definite victor and a vanquished. I'd avoid any place where parents have too much of a say into how things are done or can complain that their child isn't "climbing the belt system" fast enough. I'd also avoid any place where instructors have a mindset of this being a place to play where there's no winner or loser and give away belts to please parents because of financial reasons. The lessons one learns: consistency, diligence, grace, humility are long lasting. One benefit is that it makes people feel at ease around people and act from a place of calm as opposed to feeling threatened by situations or people who do not really represent a threat turning them into reactionary creatures startled by anything. It also makes people keep their cool in situations where others would lose their temper. It also raises the threshold of physical escalation because you get an outlet for physical escalation every day: it's the people who never fight who talk about fighting all the time, are bellicose, feel threatened all the time, get triggered too often, and lose their cool at the slightest tension. These are generalizations of course, but still.
leros 5y ago
Don't let your kid think they're a genius. I was advanced at a young age and everyone told me I was a genius. By the time I got to college, I was even with my peers but I gained some unhealthy views of the world thinking I was smarter than everyone else. I wish I hadn't been told I was a genius as a kid.
icedchai 5y ago
Mostly, I just learned to coast. I was an 80's "gifted child." When I was in 6th grade, I took a test that showed I could read at an 11th grade level. In 7th grade, I took the SATs as part of an experimental program. I got a score higher than the average HS senior, and even won an award! What did I do with this? Not too much. I taught myself C, Unix (on other people's computers...), Linux (kernel 0.99 days!), and TCP/IP networking when I was in high school. I suppose that paid off, though I could've done more.
karmakaze 5y ago
I don't remember anything being off in elementary school. I was just a kid happy spending time doing kidstuff outdoors and sitting through the indoor parts. I did literally fall asleep in class one time to the point the teacher couldn't wake me up, so my parents were called and I eventually woke up in my bed. I started goofing around in middleschool, but still found math and science interesting enough to learn it just by listening in classes. Luckily when I started high-school home computers were invented and got one which took up most of my brain energy making various programs, utilities, and video games. Otherwise I got into my fair share of trouble outdoors for kids of my age group. I remember hearing how hard university was going to be by everyone. I was very disappointed and disillusioned that it seemed a continuation of high school. Sure some courses were very challenging but they were few in number and if I was able to get them added to my schedule. It was here that I really learned how much I could slack off and get by. Other than some core concepts, most of my best learning has come from my own side projects and co-op work term work. Q: What do you call a doctor that graduates at the bottom of their class? A: doctor

smt88 5y ago

Your son will have plenty of opportunities to learn outside of school. School is an opportunity for him to learn the (arguably more important) social skills that he needs to succeed and be happy. Pushing him to skip grades or go to a special school is going to harm his social skills, which I know from experience. Let him be a normal kid, let him meet a variety of other people across the spectrum of intelligence, and supplement his education with extracurriculars and books.

yuppie_scum 5y ago

I am a little bitter about my parents’ decision to skip me ahead. In fact, I was given opportunities to cut corners on the advanced work as a result, and that led me to some bad habits as my schooling continued. I’d much rather have been the consistent leader in the clubhouse with my age peers than “meeting expectations” at the higher grade levels..

WheelsAtLarge 5y ago

I met a lady whos daughter was highly advanced in her ability to learn. She made sure that her child was enrolled in the proper grade for age to get her to be part of activities with her peers but she enrolled her in a local community college for her academic classes. She would take her to her college classes and stay outside the class until she was done. It was a full time job to care for her child. I don't know how old the little girl was but I would guess she was 10 or 11 years old. I wish I would have known her better so I could find out how things worked out for them. It's been years since this happened.

tamaharbor 5y ago

It’s kind of fun to consistently be at the head of your class.

sp332 5y ago
It's good to get attention from teachers when you're actually moving faster than the other students. If you move up to a level where you're average, you're going to get an average amount of attention.

sp332 5y ago

In general I agree with the other comments about social skill and connections. But remember you can often go up a grade or two for specific subjects, like math or reading or whatever. Don't be too sad if this doesn't work out, either. I got moved up to 3rd grade math in the middle of when they were teaching long multiplication and I was totally lost. I still aced the verbal section of the PSAT (much later lol) and got some good scholarships.

ceasesurthinko 5y ago

Make your kid do hard things after school or at home. Don't try to get him to skip grades, that usually has bad psychological effects on the kid (smaller, feel out of place, friends gone, sure did fuck alot of the people I know who skipped up later in life), and make sure to keep his work ethic in check- he will be breezing through the school work but you still want to instill lessons in him OUTSIDE of school that teach him not rely on his natural gifted talent and to always work hard. Get him into a sport or something, martial arts, coding in minecraft or roblox, teach him advanced math with a tutor, anything really that pushes him and makes him struggle. There are way too many gifted kids that breezed through school and upon entering college, end up having 0 work ethic and doing poorly because school never challenged them and their natural ability carried them through their entire childhood life. (I am one of them.)

pschuegr 5y ago
Seconding. Learning to put in the work is harder as you get older.
Jugurtha 5y ago
I agree. On the martial arts thing: make sure it's at a reputable place and an actual martial art (Judo, for example), not some kung-chu-aikido bullshit type of thing, unless the goal is only to burn calories and move around. You need competition and fights with a resisting opponent, not a dance session with someone who falls on queue. Not an exhibition "martial art". You need something where two people go at it and there's a definite victor and a vanquished. I'd avoid any place where parents have too much of a say into how things are done or can complain that their child isn't "climbing the belt system" fast enough. I'd also avoid any place where instructors have a mindset of this being a place to play where there's no winner or loser and give away belts to please parents because of financial reasons. The lessons one learns: consistency, diligence, grace, humility are long lasting. One benefit is that it makes people feel at ease around people and act from a place of calm as opposed to feeling threatened by situations or people who do not really represent a threat turning them into reactionary creatures startled by anything. It also makes people keep their cool in situations where others would lose their temper. It also raises the threshold of physical escalation because you get an outlet for physical escalation every day: it's the people who never fight who talk about fighting all the time, are bellicose, feel threatened all the time, get triggered too often, and lose their cool at the slightest tension. These are generalizations of course, but still.

leros 5y ago

Don't let your kid think they're a genius. I was advanced at a young age and everyone told me I was a genius. By the time I got to college, I was even with my peers but I gained some unhealthy views of the world thinking I was smarter than everyone else. I wish I hadn't been told I was a genius as a kid.

icedchai 5y ago

Mostly, I just learned to coast. I was an 80's "gifted child." When I was in 6th grade, I took a test that showed I could read at an 11th grade level. In 7th grade, I took the SATs as part of an experimental program. I got a score higher than the average HS senior, and even won an award! What did I do with this? Not too much. I taught myself C, Unix (on other people's computers...), Linux (kernel 0.99 days!), and TCP/IP networking when I was in high school. I suppose that paid off, though I could've done more.

karmakaze 5y ago

I don't remember anything being off in elementary school. I was just a kid happy spending time doing kidstuff outdoors and sitting through the indoor parts. I did literally fall asleep in class one time to the point the teacher couldn't wake me up, so my parents were called and I eventually woke up in my bed. I started goofing around in middleschool, but still found math and science interesting enough to learn it just by listening in classes. Luckily when I started high-school home computers were invented and got one which took up most of my brain energy making various programs, utilities, and video games. Otherwise I got into my fair share of trouble outdoors for kids of my age group. I remember hearing how hard university was going to be by everyone. I was very disappointed and disillusioned that it seemed a continuation of high school. Sure some courses were very challenging but they were few in number and if I was able to get them added to my schedule. It was here that I really learned how much I could slack off and get by. Other than some core concepts, most of my best learning has come from my own side projects and co-op work term work. Q: What do you call a doctor that graduates at the bottom of their class? A: doctor