I started reading it and already have finished 20 or so chapters. I started because I want to get to that place, I know I won’t in the near future and have stop

I started reading it and already have finished 20 or so chapters. I started because I want to get to that place, I know I won’t in the near future and have stopped trying to get there but reading your comment made me curious “maybe there is some angle in the book that will shift something in me and I will be there, awoke”