Maybe lots of snark (comparisons to "refugee" and "waterboarding" are somewhat tasteless and very much a privileged Silicon Valley person take). However having

Maybe lots of snark (comparisons to "refugee" and "waterboarding" are somewhat tasteless and very much a privileged Silicon Valley person take). However having been through enough onboardings the overall tone does resonate, and shows that companies don't spend enough time streamlining and revising their processes. Maybe it might help for them to do trial runs on new machines once a year or spend time removing tech debt out of their dev environments. If a new hire, especially one experienced in your stack, has difficulty onboarding, then something is wrong and it's probably not them.