8 ms·

My issue is that I rarely meet people who would answer my questions in a satisfying way. Usually I have to ask question after question for a frustrating amount

My issue is that I rarely meet people who would answer my questions in a satisfying way. Usually I have to ask question after question for a frustrating amount of time to understand something and not leave the topic with "yea it is clear" when it is not. Its fine with coworkers and in regular life but I would need a person whom I would call a "mentor" to be able to, you know, teach me something and usually it feels like I am using others to learn myself.

vbezhenar 5y ago
When someone asks me something and I want him to learn something, I'm trying to answer enough for him to be able to continue learning on his own. He's supposed to go on his own research after that. Mentoring is turning to the right direction, but you need to walk your path yourself to really learn something. Just answering the questions is something like consulting which is fine but not really counts as mentoring in my book.
- ihateolives 5y ago
  > When someone asks me something and I want him to learn something, I'm trying to answer enough for him to be able to continue learning on his own. He's supposed to go on his own research after that. This can be done so many ways. I had "mentor" who used to point out a line in the log or a file and just say "This shoud give you a hint." No, it did not. I know it's there, I need you to tell me why it's significant so that I can go from there. Just playing "guess what I'm thinking" wastes time for both of us. If I'm too dumb for you then come down to my level or ask someone else to mentor me. Just being wise mysterious office Yoda just isn't helpful.
  - Dudeman112 5y ago
    At some point they have to be able to do things by themselves. Sure from a pedagogical POV you don't want them stuck forever trying to make a leap they can't yet make, but being hand fed answers doesn't really work at making the underlying heuristics and cognitive habits (and sometimes info) stick.
travisjungroth 5y ago
You’re looking for a tutor, not a mentor.
- travisgriggs 5y ago
  Holy crap. Thank you so much for this. It was a light bulb for me. I came here to say how much I liked this article. I don’t have any real nuggets to add. In the last 10 years, we’ve had 8 young summer interns go through our group. It’s been quite a variety. I’ve helped place two of them in later jobs I became aware of. I have regular contact with them. I enjoy our friendships. One of them does intermittent contract work for us. I liked passing on some of the passion for programming I’ve enjoyed, even if there’s been some raised eyebrows. Many of my similar age cohorts at work have commented that I really seem to enjoy teaching and think I would enjoy that a lot. A couple years ago we hired a slightly experienced (few years out of school, one job under the belt) person to work with us. It did not go well. Me being the overly sentimental “let me overthink this” type, it’s been really debilitating for me. Our final year of attempting to make something work, was particularly painful and hurtful. As an opportunity opened up for this person to do something else in the company opened up, they shared that my office mate (who does more hardware) and I were possibly the worst mentors. That the company (with a high median age) was as a whole terrible at onboarding people. This has really hurt. Until now. Because your comment just clicked for me. For four years, what was driving me nuts was that this person demanding a tutor. And not being a very good student either. Seriously, this comment has made my day. Thank you.
  - travisjungroth 5y ago
    You’re welcome, Travis.

vbezhenar 5y ago

When someone asks me something and I want him to learn something, I'm trying to answer enough for him to be able to continue learning on his own. He's supposed to go on his own research after that. Mentoring is turning to the right direction, but you need to walk your path yourself to really learn something. Just answering the questions is something like consulting which is fine but not really counts as mentoring in my book.

ihateolives 5y ago
> When someone asks me something and I want him to learn something, I'm trying to answer enough for him to be able to continue learning on his own. He's supposed to go on his own research after that. This can be done so many ways. I had "mentor" who used to point out a line in the log or a file and just say "This shoud give you a hint." No, it did not. I know it's there, I need you to tell me why it's significant so that I can go from there. Just playing "guess what I'm thinking" wastes time for both of us. If I'm too dumb for you then come down to my level or ask someone else to mentor me. Just being wise mysterious office Yoda just isn't helpful.
- Dudeman112 5y ago
  At some point they have to be able to do things by themselves. Sure from a pedagogical POV you don't want them stuck forever trying to make a leap they can't yet make, but being hand fed answers doesn't really work at making the underlying heuristics and cognitive habits (and sometimes info) stick.

travisjungroth 5y ago

You’re looking for a tutor, not a mentor.

travisgriggs 5y ago
Holy crap. Thank you so much for this. It was a light bulb for me. I came here to say how much I liked this article. I don’t have any real nuggets to add. In the last 10 years, we’ve had 8 young summer interns go through our group. It’s been quite a variety. I’ve helped place two of them in later jobs I became aware of. I have regular contact with them. I enjoy our friendships. One of them does intermittent contract work for us. I liked passing on some of the passion for programming I’ve enjoyed, even if there’s been some raised eyebrows. Many of my similar age cohorts at work have commented that I really seem to enjoy teaching and think I would enjoy that a lot. A couple years ago we hired a slightly experienced (few years out of school, one job under the belt) person to work with us. It did not go well. Me being the overly sentimental “let me overthink this” type, it’s been really debilitating for me. Our final year of attempting to make something work, was particularly painful and hurtful. As an opportunity opened up for this person to do something else in the company opened up, they shared that my office mate (who does more hardware) and I were possibly the worst mentors. That the company (with a high median age) was as a whole terrible at onboarding people. This has really hurt. Until now. Because your comment just clicked for me. For four years, what was driving me nuts was that this person demanding a tutor. And not being a very good student either. Seriously, this comment has made my day. Thank you.
- travisjungroth 5y ago
  You’re welcome, Travis.