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I lack the statistics to really get into the cause of this but perhaps this is caused by the winner takes all economy on dating apps. Perhaps sex is easier to a

I lack the statistics to really get into the cause of this but perhaps this is caused by the winner takes all economy on dating apps. Perhaps sex is easier to acquire for the majority of women than ever before and increasingly difficult for the bottom n% of males or alternatively it feels this way for those men. A lack of empathy for the challenges that women face (both during their daily life's but also during dating) seems to characterise the incels as a group more than anything. Add to that a COVID crisis and uncertain economic times and this might get worse before it gets better.

matt321 5y ago
I have read that one-man one-woman was the solution thousands of years ago to deal with this exact problem. Currently, the top X% of men get all the women and the bottom (100-X)% are terrorists (according to this article).
mywittyname 5y ago
Women used to be essentially forced by society to marry someone, and usually at a pretty young age. So many settled for shitty partners they met in high school and took drugs to cope. Now these women can have good jobs and live how they want to.
jfengel 5y ago
A good way to get into that top n% is to stop thinking of dating as an "economy". Despite all of the incel talk, women aren't out there seeking the richest and handsomest men. They're looking for somebody to connect with, and feel safe with. A huge fraction of men fail to even try to connect with women as people, instead treating them as a commodity in a market. That makes them feel unsafe, because every woman has met at least one man who wants to take that commodity by force. They never know which one it is, and they have to treat all men that way until they know otherwise. Be the guy who treats them as individuals, rather than goods, and you'll find that you rise up substantially from that bottom x%. That is the point where the incels totally lock themselves out the market they're so desperate to be in.
- arvinsim 5y ago
  Some women do treat men as commodity in a market. Both men and women of this type spoil it for the rest of the people who are genuinely looking for connection.
- bradlys 5y ago
  > Despite all of the incel talk, women aren't out there seeking the richest and handsomest men. They're looking for somebody to connect with, and feel safe with. While nice in thought - the issue is that there's no way to connect this way on dating apps. You're on a dating app - you get 3s tops to make an impression. If someone finds you physically attractive then they'll continue to look at your profile and see if they find anything more physically attractive or emotionally attractive. But this is essentially 4-5 photos and maybe 50 words you have to write for a very general audience to catch their attention. Dating apps are more about how well you can market what you have (or market what you don't have - I guess - it doesn't really matter. You just need to hook someone). The real world is different. People will give you at least a few more seconds before moving on and being there in physical person is different than on an app. People actually exist as physical manifestations instead of as digital assets. This changes the way people interact. Point of the parent was that online dating is extremely "economy" based and has a lot of market principles behind it. For the most part - women do go after the most desirable. Men do the same but are more liberal with their approach because they have to. Whereas women don't because they're less than a quarter of the online dating populace and thus are highly desired. You cannot deny the "economics" there.
datavirtue 5y ago
You have to have your shit together. Given that, it's pretty easy to score. I know a divorcee who is one her second fiancee in three months. She has know the guy for two weeks and they just bought a house together.

matt321 5y ago

I have read that one-man one-woman was the solution thousands of years ago to deal with this exact problem. Currently, the top X% of men get all the women and the bottom (100-X)% are terrorists (according to this article).

mywittyname 5y ago

Women used to be essentially forced by society to marry someone, and usually at a pretty young age. So many settled for shitty partners they met in high school and took drugs to cope. Now these women can have good jobs and live how they want to.

jfengel 5y ago

A good way to get into that top n% is to stop thinking of dating as an "economy". Despite all of the incel talk, women aren't out there seeking the richest and handsomest men. They're looking for somebody to connect with, and feel safe with. A huge fraction of men fail to even try to connect with women as people, instead treating them as a commodity in a market. That makes them feel unsafe, because every woman has met at least one man who wants to take that commodity by force. They never know which one it is, and they have to treat all men that way until they know otherwise. Be the guy who treats them as individuals, rather than goods, and you'll find that you rise up substantially from that bottom x%. That is the point where the incels totally lock themselves out the market they're so desperate to be in.

arvinsim 5y ago
Some women do treat men as commodity in a market. Both men and women of this type spoil it for the rest of the people who are genuinely looking for connection.
bradlys 5y ago
> Despite all of the incel talk, women aren't out there seeking the richest and handsomest men. They're looking for somebody to connect with, and feel safe with. While nice in thought - the issue is that there's no way to connect this way on dating apps. You're on a dating app - you get 3s tops to make an impression. If someone finds you physically attractive then they'll continue to look at your profile and see if they find anything more physically attractive or emotionally attractive. But this is essentially 4-5 photos and maybe 50 words you have to write for a very general audience to catch their attention. Dating apps are more about how well you can market what you have (or market what you don't have - I guess - it doesn't really matter. You just need to hook someone). The real world is different. People will give you at least a few more seconds before moving on and being there in physical person is different than on an app. People actually exist as physical manifestations instead of as digital assets. This changes the way people interact. Point of the parent was that online dating is extremely "economy" based and has a lot of market principles behind it. For the most part - women do go after the most desirable. Men do the same but are more liberal with their approach because they have to. Whereas women don't because they're less than a quarter of the online dating populace and thus are highly desired. You cannot deny the "economics" there.

datavirtue 5y ago

You have to have your shit together. Given that, it's pretty easy to score. I know a divorcee who is one her second fiancee in three months. She has know the guy for two weeks and they just bought a house together.