4 ms·

You are describing a person you are attracted to who's worldview is very different from your own. So you want to understand it. There is no book written that

You are describing a person you are attracted to who's worldview is very different from your own. So you want to understand it. There is no book written that will explain her beliefs, you have to ask, listen and reflect, then ask some more. In my experience labels such as spiritual or skeptical obscure more than they illuminate. They are a tool in the ongoing exercise of identity construction, itself an effort to define ourselves that is often strikingly counter factual. Enjoy her company and observe yourself as much as you observe her. The more important question is: I have fallen for a woman who is not attracted to me and I will settle for friends. What is going on inside me that makes that ok?

krapp 5y ago
>there is no book written that will explain her beliefs, you have to ask, listen and reflect, then ask some more. I would bet money she has a bookshelf full of them. New age and pseudoscience thrive on the grift of merchandise - there's always at least a book.
- KenPainter 5y ago
  Welll...yes. a mountain of books equals no book.
  - krapp 5y ago
    It equals more than one book. There not being one and only one specific book doesn't contradict my point - this person's beliefs can still be determined by reading the literature that proscribes them.
    - rvbissell 5y ago
      "proscribe" means forbid. I suspect you meant "prescribe".
- throwaway-kr 5y ago
  >I would bet money she has a bookshelf full of them. So many books. Courses. Trinkets.
petecooper 5y ago
>I have fallen for a woman who is not attracted to me and I will settle for friends. What is going on inside me that makes that ok? That's the essential pull quote for me.
throwaway-kr 5y ago
>Enjoy her company and observe yourself as much as you observe her. The more important question is: I have fallen for a woman who is not attracted to me and I will settle for friends. What is going on inside me that makes that ok? Thank you, I greatly appreciate the clarity in this, very helpful to me. As to the quesiton -- I don't fully understand what's happening, and I suspect my mind is convincing me that there are too many hurdles for it to become anything more than friends…and that friends would be better than not.

krapp 5y ago

>there is no book written that will explain her beliefs, you have to ask, listen and reflect, then ask some more. I would bet money she has a bookshelf full of them. New age and pseudoscience thrive on the grift of merchandise - there's always at least a book.

KenPainter 5y ago
Welll...yes. a mountain of books equals no book.
- krapp 5y ago
  It equals more than one book. There not being one and only one specific book doesn't contradict my point - this person's beliefs can still be determined by reading the literature that proscribes them.
  - rvbissell 5y ago
    "proscribe" means forbid. I suspect you meant "prescribe".
throwaway-kr 5y ago
>I would bet money she has a bookshelf full of them. So many books. Courses. Trinkets.

petecooper 5y ago

>I have fallen for a woman who is not attracted to me and I will settle for friends. What is going on inside me that makes that ok? That's the essential pull quote for me.

throwaway-kr 5y ago

>Enjoy her company and observe yourself as much as you observe her. The more important question is: I have fallen for a woman who is not attracted to me and I will settle for friends. What is going on inside me that makes that ok? Thank you, I greatly appreciate the clarity in this, very helpful to me. As to the quesiton -- I don't fully understand what's happening, and I suspect my mind is convincing me that there are too many hurdles for it to become anything more than friends…and that friends would be better than not.