4 ms·

It may then be better to say you are untrusting of the family court industrial complex, that is set up to contain the social contagion of the former family unit

It may then be better to say you are untrusting of the family court industrial complex, that is set up to contain the social contagion of the former family unit and to extract as many resources as possible from the carcass as it splits into two taxable households. It’s very common that a man end up with little time with the kids as the family court system is stuck on 1950s assumption around the woman being a housewife, and because a woman usually marry up also a huge bill every month. I’ve seen people driven near bankruptcy from it. This is a great podcast for those unaware of how dangerous it is when your family enters the family court system https://youtu.be/9S60kJA6tic https://youtu.be/9S60kJA6tic

29athrowaway 5y ago
A long legal battle with your spouse is mutually assured destruction. The key question to ask yourself is "how does this benefit my kids?" For the people planning to get married, understand that 50% of marriages end up in divorce of separation, and the median duration is about 8 years. You usually not have much to win by getting married. Plus, divorce rates tend to go up. If you are already married and plan to stay married, watch this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyty0xb7IMM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyty0xb7IMM
- asabjorn 5y ago
  Yes, and the wife is usually naive to the predatory nature of the institutional players. The ex-wife in the attached podcast got a nudge from a social worker that she may get full custody if there was abuse involved, so she spend 1.5 million of their common resources and is now 450k in debt to her lawyer on what turned out to be a provably false accusation. His story is more common than what many may think as many women believe she can get full custody by accusing the man of violence or abuse. And too many drain family finances on a lottery bid for that even when there is concrete proof she lies.
  - corey_moncure 5y ago
    Surely it isn't in the best interest of the state to allow families to destroy themselves in such a manner!
    - asabjorn 5y ago
      I suggest just watching the podcast I shared. This was a disappointing insight to me as well, but I've heard this from so many now and seen it personally that I must just accept it as truth. You can find many other resources on the topic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9S60kJA6tic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9S60kJA6tic
labster 5y ago
- asabjorn 5y ago
  I assume your lack of empathy comes from not having seen a man with children go through the family court system. This is not an appropriate topic to bring a cartoonish ideology that selectively amplify and dampen the pain it sees based upon unchosen traits.
  - labster 5y ago
    It’s not OP I’m objecting to, so much as the posts that have tried to normalize those feelings and shift blame onto society. Not trusting women is not normal, but feelings are feelings and we’re not totally in control. But telling people that they should have these misogynist feelings — justifying them — is just bad. So honestly you can take your comment about “cartoonish ideology” and go to Hell.
- SturgeonsLaw 5y ago
  Using a term like "mansplanation" and accusing OP of misogyny is needlessly inflammatory

29athrowaway 5y ago

A long legal battle with your spouse is mutually assured destruction. The key question to ask yourself is "how does this benefit my kids?" For the people planning to get married, understand that 50% of marriages end up in divorce of separation, and the median duration is about 8 years. You usually not have much to win by getting married. Plus, divorce rates tend to go up. If you are already married and plan to stay married, watch this video. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyty0xb7IMM https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eyty0xb7IMM

asabjorn 5y ago
Yes, and the wife is usually naive to the predatory nature of the institutional players. The ex-wife in the attached podcast got a nudge from a social worker that she may get full custody if there was abuse involved, so she spend 1.5 million of their common resources and is now 450k in debt to her lawyer on what turned out to be a provably false accusation. His story is more common than what many may think as many women believe she can get full custody by accusing the man of violence or abuse. And too many drain family finances on a lottery bid for that even when there is concrete proof she lies.
- corey_moncure 5y ago
  Surely it isn't in the best interest of the state to allow families to destroy themselves in such a manner!
  - asabjorn 5y ago
    I suggest just watching the podcast I shared. This was a disappointing insight to me as well, but I've heard this from so many now and seen it personally that I must just accept it as truth. You can find many other resources on the topic. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9S60kJA6tic https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9S60kJA6tic

labster 5y ago

asabjorn 5y ago
I assume your lack of empathy comes from not having seen a man with children go through the family court system. This is not an appropriate topic to bring a cartoonish ideology that selectively amplify and dampen the pain it sees based upon unchosen traits.
- labster 5y ago
  It’s not OP I’m objecting to, so much as the posts that have tried to normalize those feelings and shift blame onto society. Not trusting women is not normal, but feelings are feelings and we’re not totally in control. But telling people that they should have these misogynist feelings — justifying them — is just bad. So honestly you can take your comment about “cartoonish ideology” and go to Hell.
SturgeonsLaw 5y ago
Using a term like "mansplanation" and accusing OP of misogyny is needlessly inflammatory