It seems to be specifically talking on the phone. Having a face-to-face, in-person conversation with another adult triggers a similar but more mild response. Ju

It seems to be specifically talking on the phone. Having a face-to-face, in-person conversation with another adult triggers a similar but more mild response. Just looking at a phone or typing doesn't trigger it, maybe because they've gotten used to that as you said, or maybe because it's easier to interleave that with giving them attention. There are definitely pros and cons to having the kids bunched together. Mine are all under the age of 7, and I can still take them all to the playground, or give them a box of sidewalk chalk, and they'll all play happily together. So friends don't have to be the same age, but this doesn't work with a much bigger age gap. I don't know how parents properly balance big kid vs. little kid activities and needs. But with a bigger age gap, the older ones would be somewhat independent and potentially even helpful while you're struggling to care for the younger ones. I do feel like I'm consistently failing to give my wife and kids the attention they deserve, let alone my old and new friends. So yeah, when someone else wants my time, I usually think that I should probably give that time to my family instead.