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You're young. The problem is this never happens. People are too complex for things to work out like this. Maintaining a long term friendship is more about mutu

You're young. The problem is this never happens. People are too complex for things to work out like this. Maintaining a long term friendship is more about mutual acceptance of the flaws, imperfections and transgressions of the people in your life. Inevitably there will be some heartbreak eventually. The key is to not let this heartbreak define the friendship.

asdfasgasdgasdg 5y ago
I'm as old as the subjects of this story were when their friendship ended. I don't think my age has anything to do with my disagreement with the premise of the article, or with your conclusion.
- deltaonefour 5y ago
  Then our anecdotal experiences differ. I tend to see your outlook on this topic in people that are younger. Hence my prediction which was wrong for you individually. I would argue though that my statement applies to a more broader generality. That for most people I would be right and for very few people I would be wrong.
heavenlyblue 5y ago
> Maintaining a long term friendship is more about mutual acceptance of the flaws, imperfections and transgressions of the people in your life Would you accept a flaw of a friend who decided once in his life to start taking loans from each of his friends and then use those loans to pay other friends back? Would you accept a flaw where someone suddenly decides to become a cocaine addict? Someone who got some success and suddenly started thinking are better than you? What if they failed down the way and came back telling “they now realise what kind of person they were”. The problem is, why are you maintaining relationships like that?
- deltaonefour 5y ago
  Being a friend is not about that much maintenance. You can still be friends with someone who has these flaws in your life. So it goes both ways. You shouldn't let flaws define a friendship, and you shouldn't let a friendship define your life either. All of the people you mentioned I would still be friends with. The only thing I would "maintain" with them is keeping in touch or hanging out and maybe being there for them if they have a genuine problem I can help with.. but the help of course has limits... If I can't help them, it doesn't mean I'm not their friend.

asdfasgasdgasdg 5y ago

I'm as old as the subjects of this story were when their friendship ended. I don't think my age has anything to do with my disagreement with the premise of the article, or with your conclusion.

deltaonefour 5y ago
Then our anecdotal experiences differ. I tend to see your outlook on this topic in people that are younger. Hence my prediction which was wrong for you individually. I would argue though that my statement applies to a more broader generality. That for most people I would be right and for very few people I would be wrong.

heavenlyblue 5y ago

> Maintaining a long term friendship is more about mutual acceptance of the flaws, imperfections and transgressions of the people in your life Would you accept a flaw of a friend who decided once in his life to start taking loans from each of his friends and then use those loans to pay other friends back? Would you accept a flaw where someone suddenly decides to become a cocaine addict? Someone who got some success and suddenly started thinking are better than you? What if they failed down the way and came back telling “they now realise what kind of person they were”. The problem is, why are you maintaining relationships like that?

deltaonefour 5y ago
Being a friend is not about that much maintenance. You can still be friends with someone who has these flaws in your life. So it goes both ways. You shouldn't let flaws define a friendship, and you shouldn't let a friendship define your life either. All of the people you mentioned I would still be friends with. The only thing I would "maintain" with them is keeping in touch or hanging out and maybe being there for them if they have a genuine problem I can help with.. but the help of course has limits... If I can't help them, it doesn't mean I'm not their friend.