"Get your eyes checked, at best you get told you have 20/20 vision and you're mad, and to drink more coffee. At worst you're in line for glasses" I'd turn that

"Get your eyes checked, at best you get told you have 20/20 vision and you're mad, and to drink more coffee. At worst you're in line for glasses" I'd turn that best/worst around. Glasses are easy to get, cheap, and work deterministically and measurably. If you have 20/20 vision and still have headaches, you probably have bigger problems than the relatively minor nuisance of wearing reading glasses.