4 ms·

The root of it, for me, is that most of my choices as I grow older are compromises for the sake of ease, or from of a sense of obligation to my wife and kids. L

The root of it, for me, is that most of my choices as I grow older are compromises for the sake of ease, or from of a sense of obligation to my wife and kids. Like I recognize that different, harder choices could make me richer, or leaner, or more accomplished, or whatever, but I'm often exhausted and such choices would often be harder on everyone else in the family too. So rather than ice cream and Lamborghinis and video games, my examples would be: living in a small downtown apartment, not having a TV, walking or bicycling everywhere, prioritizing 8 hours of sleep and another hour of exercise, and going into a long disconnected "deep work" state everyday. Instead, we live in a big house in the suburbs with a two-car garage for our minivan and tons of other stuff, and everybody watches too much streaming video, and sleep and exercise are things I do only after everything else is done, and I remain near-constantly connected for the people who depend on me. I love them, but I also just wish that I could "have it all."

cnelsenmilt 5y ago
I feel ya. As a childless person of the same age, I have several of those things you mentioned. I count them as blessings but also see that there has been a big, big trade made for them. I see that my siblings have made different choices with different blessings. I suppose this is just life.
PragmaticPulp 5y ago
> and everybody watches too much streaming video, and sleep and exercise are things I do only after everything else is done I don't know, this kind of feels like the adult version of ice cream for breakfast. Maybe what you're describing is the difference between dreaming something and actually doing it. There's nothing forcing any of us to watch a ton of streaming video other than our own choices, although it's hard to decide to go out and do something different once you're in that habit.
- warner25 5y ago
  It's more that my kids watch too much, because my wife and I need breaks to get other things done or rest. Not way too much, and it's carefully curated content, but it's still one of those things that I thought, before having kids, I wouldn't allow. But now I get it. Once they stop napping, it really is a cheap way to buy a couple hours of peace and quiet.
- warner25 5y ago
  Upon further reflection: What you wrote is actually central to the idea that I'm trying to express. When I was younger, I thought that I'd always make different choices and live my life "better" than older people I knew (e.g. going to the gym everyday for a serious workout), but once I grew up I understood why most people do what they do (e.g. working out irregularly, because having so many other demands on their time and energy makes it hard, or due to injury), and now I'm living much the same way in many areas of life for the same reasons. That's the sad part.

cnelsenmilt 5y ago

I feel ya. As a childless person of the same age, I have several of those things you mentioned. I count them as blessings but also see that there has been a big, big trade made for them. I see that my siblings have made different choices with different blessings. I suppose this is just life.

PragmaticPulp 5y ago

> and everybody watches too much streaming video, and sleep and exercise are things I do only after everything else is done I don't know, this kind of feels like the adult version of ice cream for breakfast. Maybe what you're describing is the difference between dreaming something and actually doing it. There's nothing forcing any of us to watch a ton of streaming video other than our own choices, although it's hard to decide to go out and do something different once you're in that habit.

warner25 5y ago
It's more that my kids watch too much, because my wife and I need breaks to get other things done or rest. Not way too much, and it's carefully curated content, but it's still one of those things that I thought, before having kids, I wouldn't allow. But now I get it. Once they stop napping, it really is a cheap way to buy a couple hours of peace and quiet.
warner25 5y ago
Upon further reflection: What you wrote is actually central to the idea that I'm trying to express. When I was younger, I thought that I'd always make different choices and live my life "better" than older people I knew (e.g. going to the gym everyday for a serious workout), but once I grew up I understood why most people do what they do (e.g. working out irregularly, because having so many other demands on their time and energy makes it hard, or due to injury), and now I'm living much the same way in many areas of life for the same reasons. That's the sad part.