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... I think maybe you need to rethink or work on that one. Do you just run up to people and ask them a question in person, or do some kind of greeting first?

... I think maybe you need to rethink or work on that one. Do you just run up to people and ask them a question in person, or do some kind of greeting first? I don't think it's a bad thing that people share some mannerisms in IM that they do in person. Are you really stressed out? Either way, looking at the world at the moment, what a great thing to have as a huge problem.

closeparen 5y ago
The closer analogue would be leaving a voicemail or a note that says "hey, I want to talk to you ASAP" without any context.
Pooge 5y ago
> Do you just run up to people and ask them a question in person, or do some kind of greeting first? The problem is not whether you're greeting or not. Nobody complained about having a greeting in their messages. The problem is that chats are very asynchronous; by the time I read your message you could've solved it already. There is absolutely nothing wrong in writing "Hey, I need help with <x>. I already tried <y> and <z>. If you have a few moments I'd appreciate the help". Then the answer would be "Hello! Oh, of course, the answer is <a>". This is especially important if you're getting a lot of messages every day. At the end of the day, that amounts to a non-negligible amount of time lost, just because the person didn't write their problem right after their greeting - which they would've done anyway after your greeting.
- cogman10 5y ago
  I'd take it one step further. If the opening message doesn't have enough information for an immediate action to be taken, it doesn't have enough information. A message "Hey, I need help with x" is just as frustrating as "Hello" because it results in the same back and forth. "What problem are you having with x?" "Well, I want to do y" "Why are you doing y?" "Well, for z purpose". Your chats should be of the form "Hey, I'm doing x y z because of p d q. I've tried a b c, do you know what I'm missing?" Enough info that the person on the other side is able to answer the question with minimal followups. You do this, because you have all the time in the world to craft the opening message, so why not do a good one so you are requiring minimal sync points. Even if the chat is about setting up a face to face meeting, it should be the same. "Hey, I need to talk to you about x y z. Can we setup a face to face meeting? I'm available at these times". What's frustrating is "Got a sec" or "can we talk?" as openers. Yes? No? What's the is about?
  - Pooge 5y ago
    > If the opening message doesn't have enough information for an immediate action to be taken, it doesn't have enough information. Indeed, this is what I wanted to convey in the pseudo-conversation in my previous comment.
  - meken 5y ago
    The only exception I can personally think of, is when I fall really behind at work, and I am feeling a lot of shame over it. And I’m really just sending out an SOS in the hopes that someone shows some kindness back towards me, and really helps me out, is in a space to hold my hand. …but it occurs to me that I could include all that additional context as well as to how I am feeling.
IceMetalPunk 5y ago
What Pooge said. Chats are more realtime than, say, emails, but they are not as realtime as face-to-face communication, and should not be treated as such. Saying hello is great! Saying only hello and giving no other information is not.
deleted 5y ago
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closeparen 5y ago

The closer analogue would be leaving a voicemail or a note that says "hey, I want to talk to you ASAP" without any context.

Pooge 5y ago

> Do you just run up to people and ask them a question in person, or do some kind of greeting first? The problem is not whether you're greeting or not. Nobody complained about having a greeting in their messages. The problem is that chats are very asynchronous; by the time I read your message you could've solved it already. There is absolutely nothing wrong in writing "Hey, I need help with <x>. I already tried <y> and <z>. If you have a few moments I'd appreciate the help". Then the answer would be "Hello! Oh, of course, the answer is <a>". This is especially important if you're getting a lot of messages every day. At the end of the day, that amounts to a non-negligible amount of time lost, just because the person didn't write their problem right after their greeting - which they would've done anyway after your greeting.

cogman10 5y ago
I'd take it one step further. If the opening message doesn't have enough information for an immediate action to be taken, it doesn't have enough information. A message "Hey, I need help with x" is just as frustrating as "Hello" because it results in the same back and forth. "What problem are you having with x?" "Well, I want to do y" "Why are you doing y?" "Well, for z purpose". Your chats should be of the form "Hey, I'm doing x y z because of p d q. I've tried a b c, do you know what I'm missing?" Enough info that the person on the other side is able to answer the question with minimal followups. You do this, because you have all the time in the world to craft the opening message, so why not do a good one so you are requiring minimal sync points. Even if the chat is about setting up a face to face meeting, it should be the same. "Hey, I need to talk to you about x y z. Can we setup a face to face meeting? I'm available at these times". What's frustrating is "Got a sec" or "can we talk?" as openers. Yes? No? What's the is about?
- Pooge 5y ago
  > If the opening message doesn't have enough information for an immediate action to be taken, it doesn't have enough information. Indeed, this is what I wanted to convey in the pseudo-conversation in my previous comment.
- meken 5y ago
  The only exception I can personally think of, is when I fall really behind at work, and I am feeling a lot of shame over it. And I’m really just sending out an SOS in the hopes that someone shows some kindness back towards me, and really helps me out, is in a space to hold my hand. …but it occurs to me that I could include all that additional context as well as to how I am feeling.

IceMetalPunk 5y ago

What Pooge said. Chats are more realtime than, say, emails, but they are not as realtime as face-to-face communication, and should not be treated as such. Saying hello is great! Saying only hello and giving no other information is not.

deleted 5y ago

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