3 ms·

That's a bit of a strawman. That's not transphobic. Nobody is obligated to have sex with anyone, trans or cis, period. That's not even up for discussion. If on

by ratww 5y ago

That's a bit of a strawman. That's not transphobic. Nobody is obligated to have sex with anyone, trans or cis, period. That's not even up for discussion. If one, however, goes out of their way to harass transexual people when stating this preference, then yeah, it's a bit transphobic. Intention matters.

mecha_ghidorah 5y ago
I did just literally get into an argument with an acquaintance last week because she was insisting that it was not an ok or valid thing for someone to not want to date trans women as a category if they were ok with dating women. So I wouldn't call it a strawman. I'd say it is a probably a minority position but it is a genuinely held one
- progman32 5y ago
  That's an interesting take. Do you recall their points? I wonder what their position is towards someone who prefers trans people.
  - mecha_ghidorah 5y ago
    > I wonder what their position is towards someone who prefers trans people. They'd consider it fetishism, unless said person was also trans and only preferred other trans people because of wanting that shared life experience. Their point was that thinking of trans women as different to women as a group was inherently bigoted.
- ratww 5y ago
  What I said doesn't contradict any of what your acquaintance said. You can freely refuse to individually date as many trans women as you want, just as you could refuse to date a woman that is too old for you, or even too skinny, or too fat. Or just unattractive. But making a fuss out of it is an issue. Whoever brought it up has some deep unresolved issues, however. Or was fishing for an argument. EDIT: It's like fetishes. Preferences are fine and should be respected, but they're also better kept off private. Telling people of a specific ethnicity you're "into them" is also kinda creepy.
  - mecha_ghidorah 5y ago
    > Whoever brought it up has some deep unresolved issues, however. Or was fishing for an argument. This was in the context one of those kink quizzes regarding what things someone was into, so genders, fetishes, bodily features, sex acts, etc. It isn't like someone just announced to a bar "I'd never date a transperson" out of nowhere.
bzbarsky 5y ago
> That's a bit of a strawman. I think that depends on your social circle. https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-57853385 https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-57853385 has some examples of people for whom this was clearly not a strawman as of 5 months ago.

by ratww 5y ago

mecha_ghidorah 5y ago

I did just literally get into an argument with an acquaintance last week because she was insisting that it was not an ok or valid thing for someone to not want to date trans women as a category if they were ok with dating women. So I wouldn't call it a strawman. I'd say it is a probably a minority position but it is a genuinely held one

progman32 5y ago
That's an interesting take. Do you recall their points? I wonder what their position is towards someone who prefers trans people.
- mecha_ghidorah 5y ago
  > I wonder what their position is towards someone who prefers trans people. They'd consider it fetishism, unless said person was also trans and only preferred other trans people because of wanting that shared life experience. Their point was that thinking of trans women as different to women as a group was inherently bigoted.
ratww 5y ago
What I said doesn't contradict any of what your acquaintance said. You can freely refuse to individually date as many trans women as you want, just as you could refuse to date a woman that is too old for you, or even too skinny, or too fat. Or just unattractive. But making a fuss out of it is an issue. Whoever brought it up has some deep unresolved issues, however. Or was fishing for an argument. EDIT: It's like fetishes. Preferences are fine and should be respected, but they're also better kept off private. Telling people of a specific ethnicity you're "into them" is also kinda creepy.
- mecha_ghidorah 5y ago
  > Whoever brought it up has some deep unresolved issues, however. Or was fishing for an argument. This was in the context one of those kink quizzes regarding what things someone was into, so genders, fetishes, bodily features, sex acts, etc. It isn't like someone just announced to a bar "I'd never date a transperson" out of nowhere.

bzbarsky 5y ago

> That's a bit of a strawman. I think that depends on your social circle. https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-57853385 https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-57853385 has some examples of people for whom this was clearly not a strawman as of 5 months ago.