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>Find another strategy We’re at 39% meeting online up from 2% in 1995. We’re also at 27% meeting through bars/restaurants, similarly superficial. Online is in

>Find another strategy We’re at 39% meeting online up from 2% in 1995. We’re also at 27% meeting through bars/restaurants, similarly superficial. Online is increasingly where the women are. https://www.statista.com/chart/amp/20822/way-of-meeting-partner-heterosexual-us-couples/ https://www.statista.com/chart/amp/20822/way-of-meeting-part... Half of singles aren’t seeking a relationship and singles have gone up over time, especially among men (Half 18-29 are single) https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profile-of-single-americans/ https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2020/08/20/a-profi... People have this deep discomfort with the fact that more men are single now. About a quarter of the male population has just given up or just does not care. I’m well into the “don’t care” camp and I’m on meds that reduce libido and a bit of chemical castration is a blessing for me. I don’t believe people care about dating as much or CAN date as much due to economic concerns. I believe that highly desirable men are now more marketable to women through dating apps, who are now serving the women who only ever wanted a fuckboy and then to get on with their lives. Men have less opportunity to market themselves to this smaller fraction of women in ways that don’t involve looks and men have become more superficially obsessed and this is a totally rational reaction. Just offering some generic tip like “be confident” is just out of touch. Men know women like confident men, they aren’t stupid.

AtlasBarfed 5y ago
Confidence is a gender-specific codeword. And there are dozens of these codewords which in cis-gender subcultures communicates far more than the members of the other gender subculture can appreciate unless they are fairly perceptive. Confidence in the case of (traditional) women is a strange one. Women are almost universally insecure. Anyone that looks at beauty magazines can see the underlying direct psychological manipulation they represent. Men value women more on absolutes (appearance) than women do, which is why arbitrary measures such as social graph relations like like "that guy has a lot of women that talk about him, so I find him attractive", they use dress and other indirect indicators to guess social status and wealth more than even if you outright tell them positions or wealth numbers. What a woman means by a "confident" man is that dating the man makes THEM feel less insecure and more confident. It represents another indirect emotional measure of a man's status and wealth, likely because the group dynamics we evolved in resulted in insecure men actually not being able to provide/defend/protect mates and offspring. Of course those indicators vary substantially by culture and individual. Of course those individuals don't understand that their personal choices aren't universal (much like men with a distinct type often are mystifying by men being attracted to appearance features they abhor). Men are often perplexed by the confidence vs arrogance angle. I believe this is another fine-tuned evolutionary sense, where arrogance implies lack of faithfulness/devotion to offspring in the long run, and implies that, while they may be able to dominate socially, it is an unstable one. It may also be intuition that they are faking true confidence aka the ability to dominate resources. In the land of the blind...

AtlasBarfed 5y ago

Confidence is a gender-specific codeword. And there are dozens of these codewords which in cis-gender subcultures communicates far more than the members of the other gender subculture can appreciate unless they are fairly perceptive. Confidence in the case of (traditional) women is a strange one. Women are almost universally insecure. Anyone that looks at beauty magazines can see the underlying direct psychological manipulation they represent. Men value women more on absolutes (appearance) than women do, which is why arbitrary measures such as social graph relations like like "that guy has a lot of women that talk about him, so I find him attractive", they use dress and other indirect indicators to guess social status and wealth more than even if you outright tell them positions or wealth numbers. What a woman means by a "confident" man is that dating the man makes THEM feel less insecure and more confident. It represents another indirect emotional measure of a man's status and wealth, likely because the group dynamics we evolved in resulted in insecure men actually not being able to provide/defend/protect mates and offspring. Of course those indicators vary substantially by culture and individual. Of course those individuals don't understand that their personal choices aren't universal (much like men with a distinct type often are mystifying by men being attracted to appearance features they abhor). Men are often perplexed by the confidence vs arrogance angle. I believe this is another fine-tuned evolutionary sense, where arrogance implies lack of faithfulness/devotion to offspring in the long run, and implies that, while they may be able to dominate socially, it is an unstable one. It may also be intuition that they are faking true confidence aka the ability to dominate resources. In the land of the blind...