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There's a subtle distinction that I don't think the article addressed very well. One thing is doing something like: I know I am angry at you, my reasons are ve
by julianeon 5y ago
There's a subtle distinction that I don't think the article addressed very well.
One thing is doing something like: I know I am angry at you, my reasons are very clear to me, and now, without adding to my understanding of them, I am going to yell at you for 15 minutes, loudly.
Another is doing this: not really being sure what you're anxious or angry about, so talking about it to explore your muddled thoughts and figure it out, in a regular to soft voice.
I can see how they flow into each other and too much of the second inevitably becomes the first. But when capped (like at 5 minutes) - appropriately modulated (not yelling anger) - in a group context (further modulating the emotions) - you could arguably get the benefits of the 2nd without the downsides of the 1st.
- caddemon 5y agoIt also depends on what kind of challenges the team faces in the first place. If there are a lot of issues stemming from faceless corporate policies or bugs in external tools or something then venting about these things for a few minutes every meeting could be good team building. If the challenges involve each other or an adjacent manager or something though even 5 minutes could get mean spirited quickly.