5 ms·

The million dollars question here is, if they had a chance to go back and do things differently, would that make them have no regrets on their dying bed, or the

The million dollars question here is, if they had a chance to go back and do things differently, would that make them have no regrets on their dying bed, or they'd just end up with a different set of regrets?

sgt101 5y ago
My grandfathers dying regrets (expressed to me) were that he had bought the wrong sort of kitchen units. I guess that there are always going to be regrets.
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- hcks 5y ago
  Peak boomer aesthetic (no value judgement)
- Tepix 5y ago
  Isn't it a great sign of a happy fulfilled life if something so minor is his dying regret?
- JKCalhoun 5y ago
  I feel like your grandfather had a wicked sense of humor.
- calebm 5y ago
  It sounds like your grandfather lived very well.
deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
throwaway5486nv 5y ago
Asked the right question. We don't know what choices would have lead to global optimal point even at the end of life. It is possible there are multiple global optimal points. At least this serves as a motivation for anti aging.
bbarn 5y ago
Bingo. I had a bit of a "what am I doing with my life" crisis a few years back when I felt addicted to working, and I made the changes to live a calmer, more enjoyable life at the expense of some income. Will I now regret not leaving more money for my daughter/wife when I go? We're all stumbling through life to the same conclusion. No one gets to do everything they wanted to.
- psiops 5y ago
  I get your point about different sets of regrets, but I really doubt anyone on their deathbed regrets not leaving behind more money. In this case I think you made the right call from a deathbed regrets perspective, trading money for a more enjoyable life.
  - eyepea2007 5y ago
    Really? I guess it likely depends on what age they die at. If you're a 40-year-old guy with a wife and 2 teenagers, and you are dying from cancer, your family is probably going to be left in a much more precarious situation financially if you don't have a large life insurance policy, or a large amount of savings, than if you were a 75-year-old guy who dies with two adult-children, a paid-off house, car, and a wife that receives social security benefits. If you are the 40-year-old, I think you'd be feeling pretty lousy about leaving your family to fend for itself without your financial help going forward. If you're the latter, you know everything is as stable as can be.
sbayeta 5y ago
The movie "About Time (2013)" shows a nice answer to this question. I enjoyed it a lot, so I highly recommend it
yodsanklai 5y ago
Do people really have regrets? I've seen my parents and my grandmother dying. Mostly they were weak, anxious, miserable and suffering. Nobody mentioned any thing they regretted. My grandmother kept telling me her life went so fast, that I should enjoy mine and do whatever made me happy. She sounded more nostalgic of her youth than regretting any past actions. I think we like to make up stories, trying to find some drive, but if you don't believe in afterlife, life is pointless anyway.
JKCalhoun 5y ago
Thinking about the regrets listed in the article. Pick this one: "I wish I had not worked so hard." What if this person went back in time and didn't work so hard? Are you suggesting they would, in their twilight years, express regret for not having worked harder? Perhaps regret they did not have the means to buy more stuff or travel? Because nothing like that made the top 5 from the author's anecdotal evidence. We have to assume either then that people rarely regret not working enough (or that the majority of us work too much and so never have the opposite regret, ha ha).
- mjd 5y ago
  Maybe those people didn't make it into the book because instead of dying in palliative care, they died under bridges or gutters or something.
- ivanhoe 5y ago
  I totally can see myself regretting one day on dropping out of University. Not that I ever needed the degree really, but just for the feeling of closing what you've started. Same with sport, I was pretty good at some point, preparing for a state competition in swimming, but fell in love and dropped out of trainings (and she dumped me some 6 months later). If I worked harder back then perhaps I'd now have a medal on my wall to boost my ego with. There're literally millions of such events in everyones' lives, some small, some big, some more important and some less, and it's just a question if you'll go back to them one day or leave them be...

sgt101 5y ago

My grandfathers dying regrets (expressed to me) were that he had bought the wrong sort of kitchen units. I guess that there are always going to be regrets.

deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
hcks 5y ago
Peak boomer aesthetic (no value judgement)
Tepix 5y ago
Isn't it a great sign of a happy fulfilled life if something so minor is his dying regret?
JKCalhoun 5y ago
I feel like your grandfather had a wicked sense of humor.
calebm 5y ago
It sounds like your grandfather lived very well.

deleted 5y ago

[deleted]

throwaway5486nv 5y ago

Asked the right question. We don't know what choices would have lead to global optimal point even at the end of life. It is possible there are multiple global optimal points. At least this serves as a motivation for anti aging.

bbarn 5y ago

Bingo. I had a bit of a "what am I doing with my life" crisis a few years back when I felt addicted to working, and I made the changes to live a calmer, more enjoyable life at the expense of some income. Will I now regret not leaving more money for my daughter/wife when I go? We're all stumbling through life to the same conclusion. No one gets to do everything they wanted to.

psiops 5y ago
I get your point about different sets of regrets, but I really doubt anyone on their deathbed regrets not leaving behind more money. In this case I think you made the right call from a deathbed regrets perspective, trading money for a more enjoyable life.
- eyepea2007 5y ago
  Really? I guess it likely depends on what age they die at. If you're a 40-year-old guy with a wife and 2 teenagers, and you are dying from cancer, your family is probably going to be left in a much more precarious situation financially if you don't have a large life insurance policy, or a large amount of savings, than if you were a 75-year-old guy who dies with two adult-children, a paid-off house, car, and a wife that receives social security benefits. If you are the 40-year-old, I think you'd be feeling pretty lousy about leaving your family to fend for itself without your financial help going forward. If you're the latter, you know everything is as stable as can be.

sbayeta 5y ago

The movie "About Time (2013)" shows a nice answer to this question. I enjoyed it a lot, so I highly recommend it

yodsanklai 5y ago

Do people really have regrets? I've seen my parents and my grandmother dying. Mostly they were weak, anxious, miserable and suffering. Nobody mentioned any thing they regretted. My grandmother kept telling me her life went so fast, that I should enjoy mine and do whatever made me happy. She sounded more nostalgic of her youth than regretting any past actions. I think we like to make up stories, trying to find some drive, but if you don't believe in afterlife, life is pointless anyway.

JKCalhoun 5y ago

Thinking about the regrets listed in the article. Pick this one: "I wish I had not worked so hard." What if this person went back in time and didn't work so hard? Are you suggesting they would, in their twilight years, express regret for not having worked harder? Perhaps regret they did not have the means to buy more stuff or travel? Because nothing like that made the top 5 from the author's anecdotal evidence. We have to assume either then that people rarely regret not working enough (or that the majority of us work too much and so never have the opposite regret, ha ha).

mjd 5y ago
Maybe those people didn't make it into the book because instead of dying in palliative care, they died under bridges or gutters or something.
ivanhoe 5y ago
I totally can see myself regretting one day on dropping out of University. Not that I ever needed the degree really, but just for the feeling of closing what you've started. Same with sport, I was pretty good at some point, preparing for a state competition in swimming, but fell in love and dropped out of trainings (and she dumped me some 6 months later). If I worked harder back then perhaps I'd now have a medal on my wall to boost my ego with. There're literally millions of such events in everyones' lives, some small, some big, some more important and some less, and it's just a question if you'll go back to them one day or leave them be...