3 ms·

This is obviously anecdotal, but I have a college degree and I certainly don't feel "in demand" on dating apps. I'm sure I'm not alone in that on a tech-focused

by kar5pt 5y ago

This is obviously anecdotal, but I have a college degree and I certainly don't feel "in demand" on dating apps. I'm sure I'm not alone in that on a tech-focused site. I think the mismatch in college education is just a small part of a much more complex phenomena.

InvaderFizz 5y ago
As a male on a dating app, you are a small fish in a big pond. Men typically outnumber women at least 2:1, often 10:1. For the average, not significantly overweight and unattractive woman, these sites are an endless queue of interested men. As a man, you have to stand out, significantly. If you want a chance at all, you need to be 6'0" at a minimum, be trim and fit, and generally be considered the top 20% of men by looks. Everything else comes after that, including your degree. That is life in the American dating markets. That is why a decade ago I decided to make myself a big fish in a small pond. I flipped the script by dating outside my country and culture. Instead of me being a commodity, when I go to places such as Colombia, Mexico, or Costa Rica, I then become the exotic and desirable luxury good. Now I'm married to a Mexican woman and live full time in Mexico, still working for US companies. COVID has kind of wrecked this advice, although it looks like that might be no longer a big issue in 2023.
- cko 5y ago
  You gotta go where the people are. I grew up in a suburb of New Jersey. Aging population, gotta drive half an hour to just meet someone for a date. I happen to be slim and 6'3" and I'm sure 5% of the female population would find me decent looking, but it was far from a cakewalk. I moved a densely populated city in Europe. A student city with lots of grad students. Many of those students are female. Parks and coffee shops all in walking distance. Moved in with my second match on Tinder within two months of meeting. Now we are married. Sometimes it's just logistics.
  - kar5pt 5y ago
    This is interesting because I had the opposite experience. Moved from suburban New Jersey to a big city and my matches got worse, not better. But my city was an American one. Maybe this is a Europe vs America thing?
    - cko 5y ago
      Perhaps! I never lived in a big city in the US, but I hear NYC has favorable (straight) female to male ratio if you're a college educated male. I'm also Asian in a not very diverse country so there's always a small portion of the population who are super curious. Maybe I overanalyzed it all though.

by kar5pt 5y ago

InvaderFizz 5y ago

As a male on a dating app, you are a small fish in a big pond. Men typically outnumber women at least 2:1, often 10:1. For the average, not significantly overweight and unattractive woman, these sites are an endless queue of interested men. As a man, you have to stand out, significantly. If you want a chance at all, you need to be 6'0" at a minimum, be trim and fit, and generally be considered the top 20% of men by looks. Everything else comes after that, including your degree. That is life in the American dating markets. That is why a decade ago I decided to make myself a big fish in a small pond. I flipped the script by dating outside my country and culture. Instead of me being a commodity, when I go to places such as Colombia, Mexico, or Costa Rica, I then become the exotic and desirable luxury good. Now I'm married to a Mexican woman and live full time in Mexico, still working for US companies. COVID has kind of wrecked this advice, although it looks like that might be no longer a big issue in 2023.

cko 5y ago
You gotta go where the people are. I grew up in a suburb of New Jersey. Aging population, gotta drive half an hour to just meet someone for a date. I happen to be slim and 6'3" and I'm sure 5% of the female population would find me decent looking, but it was far from a cakewalk. I moved a densely populated city in Europe. A student city with lots of grad students. Many of those students are female. Parks and coffee shops all in walking distance. Moved in with my second match on Tinder within two months of meeting. Now we are married. Sometimes it's just logistics.
- kar5pt 5y ago
  This is interesting because I had the opposite experience. Moved from suburban New Jersey to a big city and my matches got worse, not better. But my city was an American one. Maybe this is a Europe vs America thing?
  - cko 5y ago
    Perhaps! I never lived in a big city in the US, but I hear NYC has favorable (straight) female to male ratio if you're a college educated male. I'm also Asian in a not very diverse country so there's always a small portion of the population who are super curious. Maybe I overanalyzed it all though.