4 ms·

Yeah, this is a plague. At face value, it's not a big deal. Who cares if housewives lie/fib? In the larger sense, it's absolutely toxic, because it projects a

Yeah, this is a plague. At face value, it's not a big deal. Who cares if housewives lie/fib? In the larger sense, it's absolutely toxic, because it projects a wholly unrealistic vision. People see others "succeeding", and blame themselves for "failing" when in reality, the "failures" don't realize that the "successes" were bankrolled by parents/spouses. It is of course possible to succeed without the benefit of being bankrolled, but our weirdo faux-entrepreneur class makes it really challenging for others to understand what it takes or their odds of success.

gyulai 5y ago
...yeah, misrepresentation of the odds of success is actually an interesting part of the whole dynamic: I think many women sort of fall into this without intending it. Their peers suddenly all seem to be super-successful yoga solopreneurs, so they might get into it fully intending to use that as a career to financially support themselves and their families. When they later fail and discover the truth about their peers, they don't want to admit defeat and themselves fall into the pattern of bs'ing people about their success, thus becoming part of the problem.
rendall 5y ago
> In the larger sense, it's absolutely toxic, because it projects a wholly unrealistic vision. People see others "succeeding", and blame themselves for "failing" when in reality, the "failures" don't realize that the "successes" were bankrolled by parents/spouses. I'm glad someone else gets this. I would have a real-talk conversation with some of those friends about this, but it was really hard to get it across. "People really look up to you, and aspire to do what you do." "Oh that's awesome!" "No, not awesome. They won't be able to. They don't have the advantages you do." "Are you mad that I have money?" "No, you're great. It's just that people won't have a realistic idea of what it takes to get where you are, if they think all you do is take photos for a living." "Hmm. Is this important? I have to get ready for other thing." They would assume it had something to do with jealousy, so I mostly stopped bothering.

gyulai 5y ago

...yeah, misrepresentation of the odds of success is actually an interesting part of the whole dynamic: I think many women sort of fall into this without intending it. Their peers suddenly all seem to be super-successful yoga solopreneurs, so they might get into it fully intending to use that as a career to financially support themselves and their families. When they later fail and discover the truth about their peers, they don't want to admit defeat and themselves fall into the pattern of bs'ing people about their success, thus becoming part of the problem.

rendall 5y ago

> In the larger sense, it's absolutely toxic, because it projects a wholly unrealistic vision. People see others "succeeding", and blame themselves for "failing" when in reality, the "failures" don't realize that the "successes" were bankrolled by parents/spouses. I'm glad someone else gets this. I would have a real-talk conversation with some of those friends about this, but it was really hard to get it across. "People really look up to you, and aspire to do what you do." "Oh that's awesome!" "No, not awesome. They won't be able to. They don't have the advantages you do." "Are you mad that I have money?" "No, you're great. It's just that people won't have a realistic idea of what it takes to get where you are, if they think all you do is take photos for a living." "Hmm. Is this important? I have to get ready for other thing." They would assume it had something to do with jealousy, so I mostly stopped bothering.