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Wow this was timely for me. Literally in multiple versions of the described interactions this morning. Two thoughts: 1. I don't think it's helpful to categoriz

Wow this was timely for me. Literally in multiple versions of the described interactions this morning. Two thoughts: 1. I don't think it's helpful to categorize people. Humans will be varying degrees of reasonable/unreasonable for a variety reasons and constantly in motion on that spectrum. It's more productive, for both selfish and altruistic reasons, to try to understand the why of their behavior. 2. Getting that understanding is hard. Especially over mediums that leave out non-verbal communication. But it's really worth your time to discern if there is any area where you've communicated poorly, so you can improve, AND it's really worth your time to recognize when a person has already made up their mind and not waste anymore effort trying to change it. 3. Even when a person has made up their mind beforehand, it might be worth your time to try to understand where they're coming from, depending on whether you are in a position to simply ignore them or not. If you can't ignore them, digging deeper can open up your options to get buy-in, or lead to workarounds. Of course, very relationship, and situation dependent.

Azsy 5y ago
I would simply start with: "You have to be more specific" and go from there. And as a warning to your approach: don't take on the job to make dysfunctional people function for free. Either communicate that you are taking on a burden, or escalate to those whose job it is.
- intrepidhero 5y ago
  Totally agree. Both very good points. In one instance (literally this morning) "You have to be more specific" was exactly my approach and immediately got to the core issue. In this case there was nothing to be done about it. Our differences are irreconcilable and he's not my responsibility. In that case trying to understand his deeper motivation was still helpful. It allowed me to have empathy and us to part amicably instead of getting into a shouting match. I consider that the best possible outcome.

Azsy 5y ago

I would simply start with: "You have to be more specific" and go from there. And as a warning to your approach: don't take on the job to make dysfunctional people function for free. Either communicate that you are taking on a burden, or escalate to those whose job it is.

intrepidhero 5y ago
Totally agree. Both very good points. In one instance (literally this morning) "You have to be more specific" was exactly my approach and immediately got to the core issue. In this case there was nothing to be done about it. Our differences are irreconcilable and he's not my responsibility. In that case trying to understand his deeper motivation was still helpful. It allowed me to have empathy and us to part amicably instead of getting into a shouting match. I consider that the best possible outcome.