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To inject another perspective from an outsider, to me it read like meditation actually was a positive experience for you. One of the implicit intentions and out

To inject another perspective from an outsider, to me it read like meditation actually was a positive experience for you. One of the implicit intentions and outcomes of meditation, at least in Buddhist and Hindu belief systems, is that it's meant to be a technique to _overcome_ wordly illusions and temptations (Maya) and attain enlightened state (Moksha) thus escaping the cycle of birth and rebirth into this world. Seems instead you reverted back to the _samsara_ (world filled with Maya) - although not necessarily for me to judge whether that is good or bad.

skilled 5y ago
It was! Honestly, my comment is pretty raw and it doesn't give the full picture. But you are absolutely right. Meditation changed me and gave me insights about myself and life that I perhaps would have never encountered otherwise. And you're correct about turning back to a "stale" way of being. This is literally what happened, so kudos to you for noticing. As someone once told me, "You're still young. You have time.". And I need that time.
- zozbot234 5y ago
  I would actually point you towards deepening your equanimity, as opposed to trying to renounce the world in this lifetime when you're basically nowhere near ready for that. If it feels like your way of being in the world is "stale", that's the pattern you should be working on. It should be fully possible to engage with the world, even and perhaps especially as an enlightened being.
  - skilled 5y ago
    I always wanted to write a book about what happened to me. The specifics of how spirituality came into to my life, because it was very unusual. And my story could captivate even the most dedicated of skeptics. It was that authentic. But, for some reason - I was always very afraid to write such a book because it would mean giving away a part of "me". So, in this context, having more time means I can enjoy life without needing to preach a story that perhaps some people are not ready to hear. I don't know... Funny thing is, I write for a living. Only web dev stuff opposed to digging deep into the psyche of this world.

skilled 5y ago

It was! Honestly, my comment is pretty raw and it doesn't give the full picture. But you are absolutely right. Meditation changed me and gave me insights about myself and life that I perhaps would have never encountered otherwise. And you're correct about turning back to a "stale" way of being. This is literally what happened, so kudos to you for noticing. As someone once told me, "You're still young. You have time.". And I need that time.

zozbot234 5y ago
I would actually point you towards deepening your equanimity, as opposed to trying to renounce the world in this lifetime when you're basically nowhere near ready for that. If it feels like your way of being in the world is "stale", that's the pattern you should be working on. It should be fully possible to engage with the world, even and perhaps especially as an enlightened being.
- skilled 5y ago
  I always wanted to write a book about what happened to me. The specifics of how spirituality came into to my life, because it was very unusual. And my story could captivate even the most dedicated of skeptics. It was that authentic. But, for some reason - I was always very afraid to write such a book because it would mean giving away a part of "me". So, in this context, having more time means I can enjoy life without needing to preach a story that perhaps some people are not ready to hear. I don't know... Funny thing is, I write for a living. Only web dev stuff opposed to digging deep into the psyche of this world.