For a headline, sure. It's about a sequence of four events, and they're packed into nearly the most terse statement possible - it's well understood that this is

For a headline, sure. It's about a sequence of four events, and they're packed into nearly the most terse statement possible - it's well understood that this is the main job of a headline. But they're in nearly reverse chronological order, so by the time I reach the third event, my brain starts stumbling trying to figure out what the statement is actually about. If you don't have any context, it's almost completely backwards. Rewriting it with comprehension as the goal, you would get something like this: The city surveillance program was subject to an oversight law, and Mayor Breed proposed gutting this law, but then withdrew the proposal. Which, of course, would be a terrible headline, because it includes punctuation.