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This. Actually I use it frequently. Usually I follow the script: 1) Hear someone saying something I agree with. 2) Walk there and ask: "Well, have you co
by marcodiego 5y ago
This.
Actually I use it frequently. Usually I follow the script:
1) Hear someone saying something I agree with.
2) Walk there and ask: "Well, have you considered..." and present a counter-argument I think is reasonably strong.
3) Listen and learn objections, sometimes asking for clarifications, pointing weaknesses or going back to 2 until I'm convinced position is consistent or the person doesn't know what is talking about.
4) I say: "Thanks, I now understand your point. I actually didn't know or had not thought about it."
The problem is that sometimes I lose a friend between steps 2 and 3.
- eyelidlessness 5y agoYeah a lot of people don’t like insincerity and gamed interaction in their personal relationships.
- marcodiego 5y agoHmmm... Never thought about it this way. I'd mostly seen it as if some people were unable to separate argument from the messenger. Maybe I got so used to talk to and live with people I disagree with that I expect others to be able to handle it just like I do.
- eyelidlessness 5y agoSpeaking as someone who can say I’ve lost or damaged friendships with sporting disagreements: I have very real significant disagreements with people I care about. I now take them seriously and treat them with care. I try to remember those disagreements might part me with people who are important to me, and try to remember that sometimes that parting is necessary and other times it’s not. Most of the time it’s not.