5 ms·

I can understand your point, but I think that in the end it's always feasible. If you want to meet more women you have to realize they won't come to knock on yo

I can understand your point, but I think that in the end it's always feasible. If you want to meet more women you have to realize they won't come to knock on your door. So you have to give up a couple of hours in the evening where instead if working you go out with the objective to meet more women.

danenania 15y ago
Just going out with the vague intention of meeting women isn't going to get you anywhere as a nerdy type of guy. A better approach is to do things that you'll enjoy anyway where talking and getting to know others (including women) is a core part of the activity. A few that come to mind: creative writing groups, acting groups, language learning groups and exchanges, book clubs. I'm sure there are plenty of others. Besides being generally intellectually rewarding activities, women are usually the majority in groups like these, and they are likely to be smart and interesting to boot. The emphasis is also taken off of small talk and social poise, and placed instead on intelligence, creativity, authenticity, and other traits that nerds excel in. Even if you don't meet the girl of your dreams, you can at least have a good time, develop your mind in some new directions, and expand your social circle a bit.
- wladimir 15y ago
  Excellent suggestion! That has been my experience as well. It's better to focus on auxiliary activities where you'll meet women as part of the group, and have to work with them, instead of focusing on dating. It's much less awkward (as there are no high expectations), you're bound to have at least one shared interest, and you get to know them how they are in daily life...
- adrianN 15y ago
  How about people who don't like activities where talking and getting to know other people is a core part?
  - sltkr 15y ago
    If you don't want to talk to or get to know anyone, why are you looking for a girlfriend?
- DeusExMachina 15y ago
  Yes, thank you for the addition. I was meaning these activities, even though only in an implied manner. Going out and talking to a woman out of nothing is hard stuff that requires a lot of effort and the right personality. Another couple of activities you can add to the list are singing in a choir and dancing (I dance tango, for example). In both cases you are pretty much guaranteed that women will exceed men in number.
  - john_b 15y ago
    I'll second the dancing idea. Salsa and other types of latin dance are especially good, since the culture of those dance forms is (generally) that there is nothing wrong in asking a girl to dance whether she is in a relationship or not. But if you're the introverted type and not comfortable with your dance skills (like me when I started), you still have to swallow your pride and get out there. There is no getting around that. Just don't go join a dance club (or any other hobby-based group) with the sole intention of meeting women because (1) you won't enjoy it and (2) the women will sense it.
sltkr 15y ago
It's funny that your suggestion is the opposite of the currently top-rated comment (which I didn't read, because it's a 1700 word essay without any capitalization). (For what it's worth, I think you have it right.)
- kirubakaran 15y ago
  It's worth reading that essay. http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3051914 http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3051914

danenania 15y ago

Just going out with the vague intention of meeting women isn't going to get you anywhere as a nerdy type of guy. A better approach is to do things that you'll enjoy anyway where talking and getting to know others (including women) is a core part of the activity. A few that come to mind: creative writing groups, acting groups, language learning groups and exchanges, book clubs. I'm sure there are plenty of others. Besides being generally intellectually rewarding activities, women are usually the majority in groups like these, and they are likely to be smart and interesting to boot. The emphasis is also taken off of small talk and social poise, and placed instead on intelligence, creativity, authenticity, and other traits that nerds excel in. Even if you don't meet the girl of your dreams, you can at least have a good time, develop your mind in some new directions, and expand your social circle a bit.

wladimir 15y ago
Excellent suggestion! That has been my experience as well. It's better to focus on auxiliary activities where you'll meet women as part of the group, and have to work with them, instead of focusing on dating. It's much less awkward (as there are no high expectations), you're bound to have at least one shared interest, and you get to know them how they are in daily life...
adrianN 15y ago
How about people who don't like activities where talking and getting to know other people is a core part?
- sltkr 15y ago
  If you don't want to talk to or get to know anyone, why are you looking for a girlfriend?
DeusExMachina 15y ago
Yes, thank you for the addition. I was meaning these activities, even though only in an implied manner. Going out and talking to a woman out of nothing is hard stuff that requires a lot of effort and the right personality. Another couple of activities you can add to the list are singing in a choir and dancing (I dance tango, for example). In both cases you are pretty much guaranteed that women will exceed men in number.
- john_b 15y ago
  I'll second the dancing idea. Salsa and other types of latin dance are especially good, since the culture of those dance forms is (generally) that there is nothing wrong in asking a girl to dance whether she is in a relationship or not. But if you're the introverted type and not comfortable with your dance skills (like me when I started), you still have to swallow your pride and get out there. There is no getting around that. Just don't go join a dance club (or any other hobby-based group) with the sole intention of meeting women because (1) you won't enjoy it and (2) the women will sense it.

sltkr 15y ago

It's funny that your suggestion is the opposite of the currently top-rated comment (which I didn't read, because it's a 1700 word essay without any capitalization). (For what it's worth, I think you have it right.)

kirubakaran 15y ago
It's worth reading that essay. http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3051914 http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=3051914