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For anyone intimidated by fine dining, I'd say approach it by recognizing that the people involved are really excited about providing a memorable experience for

For anyone intimidated by fine dining, I'd say approach it by recognizing that the people involved are really excited about providing a memorable experience for you, and that they've worked years at perfecting the whole performance of it, and making you feel comfortable and welcome (with adult boundaries) is their vocation. For a lot of professional waiters and cooks, it's like performing music, so be interested and curious and let yourself be delighted. It can also be a bit overwhelming, so even though you have probably eaten in restaurants before, treat fine dining like a new experience, as they've tried to make it one. Professional staff can handle just about anything, and there's not much they haven't seen. The secret I think is to know before hand who is paying, have a sense of the budget from online menus before ordering so you don't have to focus on the prices, respect the personal boundaries of the servers, and if it's your first time, consider that you'd like to be welcome back. I don't think any of them have a gong they smash whenever they see someone using their dinner fork for the salad, and some decorative table settings actually break with convention and can be a bit mystifying, so if you don't know what's what, ask. They can accomodate most things, but make dietary restrictions known during the reservation, as they'll usually prep for them. They're about providing a unique experience, so if your needs aren't medical, consider whether you're open to a new experience before spending a lot on one. Fine dining restaurants employ dozens of people with specialized skills, and provide livings that support families, so go, get treated like royalty for a bit, and use it as a waypoint for how well you can be treated and how good something as simple as food can be, then use the expereince to enrich your life.

mprovost 5y ago
Yes I could really feel the social anxiety coming through in the article. One thing that someone told me that really helped is that everyone is trying to help you by telling you what you should do. So if they ask to take your coat, say yes. They're telling you that it's not appropriate to keep it on the back of your chair. If they ask you if you want to wait at the bar, say yes. Basically, just keep saying yes. At this kind of place they aren't out to get you by sneaking in an extra charge for something (I could also feel her concern there). If it does involve money, like choosing a wine, you can also just ask for some advice. "What would you recommend around £30?" The staff aren't going to judge you - or if they are they'll have a whole new round of folk to judge tomorrow and won't remember your face.
thaway2839 5y ago
> make dietary restrictions known during the reservation This can be the difference between an Apple like "magical" experience and one that is still great, but nonetheless might be a little clunky (although, as you point out, the people running Michelin starred restaurants are usually people at the top of their profession and know how to handle these situations really well).
bryans 5y ago
In addition to the staff tending to exceed every expectation and (at least outwardly) being entirely non-judgmental, the social atmosphere of fine dining restaurants is drastically different than casual dining, as well. I think people assume that it's going to be snobby and full of pomp and circumstance, but it's the exact opposite for most of these restaurants. Even before the wine gets served, everyone seems to fall under the intoxicating effects of knowing they're about to experience some of the best food and service that humans are able to achieve. It adds some nearly-tangible magic that puts everyone on the same level of childlike enthusiasm, resulting in extremely wealthy tables cross-chatting and mingling with once-in-a-lifetimers without any reservation or judgement.
Spinnaker_ 5y ago
People forgot that almost everyone who works in these restaurants also has a "common as muck" background. The fancyness is all an act they've learned. I'd say servers may even prefer customers like the author over another table of rich 60 year olds.

mprovost 5y ago

Yes I could really feel the social anxiety coming through in the article. One thing that someone told me that really helped is that everyone is trying to help you by telling you what you should do. So if they ask to take your coat, say yes. They're telling you that it's not appropriate to keep it on the back of your chair. If they ask you if you want to wait at the bar, say yes. Basically, just keep saying yes. At this kind of place they aren't out to get you by sneaking in an extra charge for something (I could also feel her concern there). If it does involve money, like choosing a wine, you can also just ask for some advice. "What would you recommend around £30?" The staff aren't going to judge you - or if they are they'll have a whole new round of folk to judge tomorrow and won't remember your face.

thaway2839 5y ago

> make dietary restrictions known during the reservation This can be the difference between an Apple like "magical" experience and one that is still great, but nonetheless might be a little clunky (although, as you point out, the people running Michelin starred restaurants are usually people at the top of their profession and know how to handle these situations really well).

bryans 5y ago

In addition to the staff tending to exceed every expectation and (at least outwardly) being entirely non-judgmental, the social atmosphere of fine dining restaurants is drastically different than casual dining, as well. I think people assume that it's going to be snobby and full of pomp and circumstance, but it's the exact opposite for most of these restaurants. Even before the wine gets served, everyone seems to fall under the intoxicating effects of knowing they're about to experience some of the best food and service that humans are able to achieve. It adds some nearly-tangible magic that puts everyone on the same level of childlike enthusiasm, resulting in extremely wealthy tables cross-chatting and mingling with once-in-a-lifetimers without any reservation or judgement.

Spinnaker_ 5y ago

People forgot that almost everyone who works in these restaurants also has a "common as muck" background. The fancyness is all an act they've learned. I'd say servers may even prefer customers like the author over another table of rich 60 year olds.