2 ms·
I live with it every day and I’m pretty good with the balance I’ve struck. But no it’s not just social anxiety, it’s a constant pressure to be a person I’m not.
by eyelidlessness 5y ago
I live with it every day and I’m pretty good with the balance I’ve struck. But no it’s not just social anxiety, it’s a constant pressure to be a person I’m not.
- ihateolives 5y agoIf it's of any consolation then that pressure goes down with age. After you're 35+ and have kids then nobody expects you to be as social (it at all) anymore. It took me 40 something years to come to terms with that no, I'm not like other people and I'll never be. Now I'm confident in my social solitude, it's who I am, take it or leave it. I'm good with putting on a mask for social occasions though if I need to. But I have the freedom not to. I also regret that in my youth it didn't occur to me to respond to "Why are you so quiet?" with "Why are you so loud?"
- Cthulhu_ 5y agoMasking, I think a lot of people can relate. The other side of that coin is that you see other people - extroverts, people-people like managers, recruiters and marketeers, and think of them as masking, of putting on a face and an act to achieve their goals. And it's offputting, it puts my hackles and defenses up, and/or makes me put on a somewhat different mask to try and interact with them (if I have to). But as someone else pointed out, long term it mellows out a bit; you stop caring, you surround yourself with similar people, you become confident in your abilities, and I guess the masking, where needed, becomes easier, less draining, or even becomes part of who you are. Small side remark, ABL or ABA or whatever, is a conversion therapy aimed at autistic people (and children) that's basically forcing them to mask, forcing them to pretend to be neurotypical. Think Pavlovian punishments for stimming and the like. Don't support those.