3 ms·
The Platinum Rule (2014)
- PaulHoule 5y agoA taxonomy based on quadrants is an ontology bad smell.
- jka 5y agoFair; the rule itself doesn't necessarily rely on an ontology though, as I understand it. (I'd interpret it as: spend time to understand the other through their own experience -- and when you feel that you have sufficient confidence in their preferences, you may test that by interacting in a way that you believe they would like, ideally with positive consequences for both of you -- but be prepared to reconsider and adjust your mental model if negative consequences occur for either party) (that's not quite as catchy, though)
- PaulHoule 5y agoI’d say this. Mirroring people’s communication preferences to build rapport works and generally you can assume that people communicate in the way that they want to be communicated to. (In our pod we call this ‘show not tell’.) Usually when people present this idea they bring in a specific model of communications which may or may not be valid. For instance in Neuro-linguistic programming, Bandler and Grinder posited that when people say ‘I can see what you mean’ ‘That sounds good to me’ ‘I have a good feeling about this’ They are using visual, auditory or kinesthetic representations in their mind. This may or may not be true but it is true that if you use similar vocabulary to people you tend to build rapport. Hypnotist David Snyder is one of my favorite YouTube personalities and he says that to build rapport with people you should listen and repeat back the same words in the same order that they do and I think that is right without any reservation.
- jka 5y agoPrevious HN discussion: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7633600 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=7633600