> Kyra is autistic and profoundly deaf. She was born premature at about 27 weeks, just a little over 2 pounds, which has impacted pretty much everything: eyesig

> Kyra is autistic and profoundly deaf. She was born premature at about 27 weeks, just a little over 2 pounds, which has impacted pretty much everything: eyesight, hearing, digestion, sleep patterns. A strong tremor in her hand makes it impossible for her to use American Sign Language. Her parents think she recognizes a couple dozen signs. The most important thing when writing is to know your audience. Given the goal the original ProPublica article (talking about how the the state of Arizona is not helping disabled children) the original paragraph is preferable because it succinctly and clearly communicates how serious Kyra’s problem is. In the first sentence, “profoundly deaf” has a specific meaning and conveys the seriousness of the disability. Similarly, 27 weeks is a lot more helpful than “born early”. Many children are born before 40 weeks (early) and generally anything after 36 weeks (after the lungs have developed) is pretty uncomplicated. However, 27 weeks is very early and has a high complication rate and requires state of the art neonatal intensive care. In addition, 2 pounds is very small for a baby(average is around 7 pounds) and again requires a lot of high tech medical care just to survive until what would be full term. In addition the words “tremor” combined with “impossible” conveys the severe medical nature of the problem more so than “shaking”. In addition, with the simple version, it is ambiguous whether using sign language is because of preference (self-conscious) or because it is impossible. Again consider the goals of the original article. It is to point out the injustice that a child with a severe medical problem is not getting the care and help she requires and deserves. The original wording does a much better job of making this case. The most important thing in writing is knowing your audience and your goal.