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If you use any kind of social media, you know that everyone else's kids are smarter, their house is tidier, their vacations are more interesting, and most impor

If you use any kind of social media, you know that everyone else's kids are smarter, their house is tidier, their vacations are more interesting, and most importantly: They have absolute certainty that they're living their life right. Whereas you have a messy house, misbehaving kids, you can't remember the last time you've been to a beach, and you're full of doubt about your own choices. Why should it be any different at work? It's so easy to walk past someone else's desk, see them engrossed in whatever they're doing and think they're working so effectively, whereas yourself you spend 90% of the time trying to get focused and 10% in hyperbursts actually getting the work done. Kind of. But this impostor syndrome, at work at least, is a motivator. If you're always the least smart person in the room you know you need to keep proving yourself and this drives your actual performance.

PragmaticPulp 5y ago
There’s a kernel of common sense truth to this idea: Even before social media, we only framed photos of the good times and successes. It’s not nefarious or manipulative. It’s just the nature of sharing the good times. However, I feel like I’ve been seeing this idea abused more lately to try to normalize problem behaviors or dysfunctions. To extend your example: If someone sees photos of other people’s tidy houses on social media and their immediate reaction is to convince themselves that those houses are actually very messy and disorganized behind the scenes, they could be projecting their own issues with cleanliness and disorganization on to others. It’s much easier to overlook our own problems when we normalize them by projecting them on to everyone else. While it is true that social media isn’t a perfect representation of people’a normal daily lives, it was never intended to be. If someone is misunderstanding social media (or a resume) as a 100% snapshot of people’s lives, that needs to be corrected. However, I think it’s also a problem if someone’s only coping mechanism is to imagine the opposite scenarios and project it on to that person. The only lasting solution, in my opinion, is to learn how to be comfortable with yourself, on your own, without comparing to others.
- technohybrid 5y ago
  "Learn how to be comfortable with yourself, on your own, without comparing to others." This sums it up, and i think is the right approach, i would like to add to keep positive and always look out for improvement on yourself and the situation around you, without "forcing it" to the point of being toxic.
- MarkusWandel 5y ago
  Well, the same principle applies to the golden glow of nostalgia. Oh, 10 years ago, how clear everything was, how optimistic about the future we were, how much younger and healthier our bodies were, blah blah. It gets really weird when you mentally project the present into future nostalgia. A particularly lovely late-afternoon winter day with the kids playing in the snow. Sure we're frazzled parents; nobody got enough sleep last night, dinner is uncertain etc. But we won't remember any of that in 10 years. All we'll see is aww, they were so cute, everything was so OK.
newbamboo 5y ago
“you're always the least smart person in the room you know you need to keep proving yourself and this drives your actual performance.” Give or take locus of control and incentives, maybe. Some might think alternatively that it’s better to find a unique niche rather than try to compete where others are apparently more talented. Incentives matter a lot.

PragmaticPulp 5y ago

There’s a kernel of common sense truth to this idea: Even before social media, we only framed photos of the good times and successes. It’s not nefarious or manipulative. It’s just the nature of sharing the good times. However, I feel like I’ve been seeing this idea abused more lately to try to normalize problem behaviors or dysfunctions. To extend your example: If someone sees photos of other people’s tidy houses on social media and their immediate reaction is to convince themselves that those houses are actually very messy and disorganized behind the scenes, they could be projecting their own issues with cleanliness and disorganization on to others. It’s much easier to overlook our own problems when we normalize them by projecting them on to everyone else. While it is true that social media isn’t a perfect representation of people’a normal daily lives, it was never intended to be. If someone is misunderstanding social media (or a resume) as a 100% snapshot of people’s lives, that needs to be corrected. However, I think it’s also a problem if someone’s only coping mechanism is to imagine the opposite scenarios and project it on to that person. The only lasting solution, in my opinion, is to learn how to be comfortable with yourself, on your own, without comparing to others.

technohybrid 5y ago
"Learn how to be comfortable with yourself, on your own, without comparing to others." This sums it up, and i think is the right approach, i would like to add to keep positive and always look out for improvement on yourself and the situation around you, without "forcing it" to the point of being toxic.
MarkusWandel 5y ago
Well, the same principle applies to the golden glow of nostalgia. Oh, 10 years ago, how clear everything was, how optimistic about the future we were, how much younger and healthier our bodies were, blah blah. It gets really weird when you mentally project the present into future nostalgia. A particularly lovely late-afternoon winter day with the kids playing in the snow. Sure we're frazzled parents; nobody got enough sleep last night, dinner is uncertain etc. But we won't remember any of that in 10 years. All we'll see is aww, they were so cute, everything was so OK.

newbamboo 5y ago

“you're always the least smart person in the room you know you need to keep proving yourself and this drives your actual performance.” Give or take locus of control and incentives, maybe. Some might think alternatively that it’s better to find a unique niche rather than try to compete where others are apparently more talented. Incentives matter a lot.