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Ask HN: Do couples avoid having children because they will fear their own death?

1 points by amichail 5y ago

To clarify, I mean that you might feel bad about having a child since that child will eventually suffer through the fear of their own death.

billconan 5y ago
In the Chinese culture, there is a saying "(of parents) bring up children for the purpose of being looked after in old age". my mother thinks that if I don't have any children, my old age will be lonely and miserable. but I think that's selfish thinking. a person shouldn't be given birth to the obligation of taking care of another person. I found it is amusing that we seem to spend a big portion of our lifetime on preparing for a more comfortable death.
allears 5y ago
You can look at families and generations as a series of obligations, or as a series of pleasures and relationships. I've seen both sides, and I've come to recognize the value of relationships. It's selfish to think that you are independent and disconnected from other people, when the truth is that we are all part of a web of kinship, friendship, and relations. When you acknowledge and accept this life becomes much richer, more interesting, and more rewarding.
PaulHoule 5y ago
We have a slogan in our pod: "Love is a Dangerous Game" If you develop an attachment with somebody, even if you have banished any hostility and eliminate sadistic tendencies, even if you never get angry at them , even if you are completely dedicated to see, hear and understand them, even if you could avoid the inevitable accidents that make people feel unmirrored, you would still hurt them by leaving -- no matter if it is breaking up, drifting away, or "death do us part". It's still a game worth playing.
schmookeeg 5y ago
I'm not even sure I understand the question here. For us, death or fear of same never entered into it. We don't have kids because we prefer disposable income, sleeping in, spontaneity, and not having to live in a stew of constant muck. Having traveled extensively, my partner and I are secure in the belief that the planet has plenty of people already.
- amichail 5y ago
  I mean that you might feel bad about having a child since that child will eventually suffer through the fear of their own death.
tamaharbor 5y ago
MrGuts 5y ago
Are the words "climate change" anywhere in the pretext of this question?

1 points by amichail 5y ago

To clarify, I mean that you might feel bad about having a child since that child will eventually suffer through the fear of their own death.

billconan 5y ago

In the Chinese culture, there is a saying "(of parents) bring up children for the purpose of being looked after in old age". my mother thinks that if I don't have any children, my old age will be lonely and miserable. but I think that's selfish thinking. a person shouldn't be given birth to the obligation of taking care of another person. I found it is amusing that we seem to spend a big portion of our lifetime on preparing for a more comfortable death.

allears 5y ago

You can look at families and generations as a series of obligations, or as a series of pleasures and relationships. I've seen both sides, and I've come to recognize the value of relationships. It's selfish to think that you are independent and disconnected from other people, when the truth is that we are all part of a web of kinship, friendship, and relations. When you acknowledge and accept this life becomes much richer, more interesting, and more rewarding.

PaulHoule 5y ago

We have a slogan in our pod: "Love is a Dangerous Game" If you develop an attachment with somebody, even if you have banished any hostility and eliminate sadistic tendencies, even if you never get angry at them , even if you are completely dedicated to see, hear and understand them, even if you could avoid the inevitable accidents that make people feel unmirrored, you would still hurt them by leaving -- no matter if it is breaking up, drifting away, or "death do us part". It's still a game worth playing.

schmookeeg 5y ago

I'm not even sure I understand the question here. For us, death or fear of same never entered into it. We don't have kids because we prefer disposable income, sleeping in, spontaneity, and not having to live in a stew of constant muck. Having traveled extensively, my partner and I are secure in the belief that the planet has plenty of people already.

amichail 5y ago
I mean that you might feel bad about having a child since that child will eventually suffer through the fear of their own death.

tamaharbor 5y ago

MrGuts 5y ago

Are the words "climate change" anywhere in the pretext of this question?