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That is just a load of shit, I am so tired of this toxic positivity. Of course its a choice in the first place, but choice is not what brings you there. You nee

That is just a load of shit, I am so tired of this toxic positivity. Of course its a choice in the first place, but choice is not what brings you there. You need to choose right turn, yes, yes! But you have to walk the path towards the destination and that is a whole different story. If all you postulate that it is enough just to make the right turn, then… ah, whatever.

jd115 5y ago
There can be no such thing as toxic positivity. Your doubts are toxic, yes. But positivity can never be toxic. Life IS utterly binary and clear-cut in this respect, there are no grey areas, no nuances. There is an absolute good and it is joy. And it is 100% a personal choice, regardless of circumstances. Once again - it is the only ONE thing over which you have any control, at all times, no exceptions. You can always choose to be happy. AND that's enough!
- rjh29 5y ago
  Incredibly insulting to people with depression.
  - jd115 5y ago
    Which is why they are depressed. They choose (over and over and over again, many times in each hour they make this CONSCIOUS CHOICE) to find this insulting, instead of empowering. I am leaving out no-one. Joy is absolutely accessible to every living being, at all times, under all conditions.
- kranner 5y ago
  Leaving out people with e.g. clinical depression, this is still only true for some people. The rest don't believe that they can simply choose to be happy regardless of circumstances, and therefore they can't. I don't think we get a choice in the matter: either we're lucky to be in the first group who know it intuitively or figure it out or come across the idea somewhere, or we aren't so lucky.
sethammons 5y ago
I have met people who laugh and smile about hardships and I have met people who are sour about unequivocally positive situations. I don't think happiness is a destination, it is a path. The happy person is happy to have chosen to turn right and to have had the opportunity to so. The unhappy person is still unhappy that they have not yet found what they are looking for. That is the decision
- lexapro 5y ago
  >The unhappy person is still unhappy that they have not yet found what they are looking for. >That is the decision What is the decision exactly? If unhappy people could just choose to be happy instead, they would.
  - sethammons 5y ago
    Let's make sure we are talking about the same thing. I don't mean the fleeting joy of a pop cycle on a hot summer day when you were twelve and the cutie you have a crush on smiled at you. I'm talking about a general disposition. A "happy person." It is the way one looks at and approaches the problems and/or situations. You can choose to change how you approach the problem and you can choose what you find rewarding in that problem and the approach. You can also choose to focus on what you've yet to attain. In our little parable here, the unhappy person is still unhappy that they have not yet found what they are looking for. We are getting terribly abstract now. But they could instead focus on what traction they have gained, they could "enjoy the art of the search," or whatever else they choose to put value on. But it comes down to what they value. Talks and whole books are written on this and I wont be able to do them justice. This mental outlook thing extends to depression. See CBT, Congnitive Behavioral Therapy, which reduces depression by changing how you think about things. One could choose to apply those techniques.
    - bradlys 5y ago
      A lot of this “choosing to be happy” as the way you describe it though is merely self-deception/lying-to-oneself. If I’m starving - I have every right to be upset. Yet in your mind - I should just learn to enjoy the search for food (even if it doesn’t exist) rather than being upset that I’m literally dying.

jd115 5y ago

There can be no such thing as toxic positivity. Your doubts are toxic, yes. But positivity can never be toxic. Life IS utterly binary and clear-cut in this respect, there are no grey areas, no nuances. There is an absolute good and it is joy. And it is 100% a personal choice, regardless of circumstances. Once again - it is the only ONE thing over which you have any control, at all times, no exceptions. You can always choose to be happy. AND that's enough!

rjh29 5y ago
Incredibly insulting to people with depression.
- jd115 5y ago
  Which is why they are depressed. They choose (over and over and over again, many times in each hour they make this CONSCIOUS CHOICE) to find this insulting, instead of empowering. I am leaving out no-one. Joy is absolutely accessible to every living being, at all times, under all conditions.
kranner 5y ago
Leaving out people with e.g. clinical depression, this is still only true for some people. The rest don't believe that they can simply choose to be happy regardless of circumstances, and therefore they can't. I don't think we get a choice in the matter: either we're lucky to be in the first group who know it intuitively or figure it out or come across the idea somewhere, or we aren't so lucky.

sethammons 5y ago

I have met people who laugh and smile about hardships and I have met people who are sour about unequivocally positive situations. I don't think happiness is a destination, it is a path. The happy person is happy to have chosen to turn right and to have had the opportunity to so. The unhappy person is still unhappy that they have not yet found what they are looking for. That is the decision

lexapro 5y ago
>The unhappy person is still unhappy that they have not yet found what they are looking for. >That is the decision What is the decision exactly? If unhappy people could just choose to be happy instead, they would.
- sethammons 5y ago
  Let's make sure we are talking about the same thing. I don't mean the fleeting joy of a pop cycle on a hot summer day when you were twelve and the cutie you have a crush on smiled at you. I'm talking about a general disposition. A "happy person." It is the way one looks at and approaches the problems and/or situations. You can choose to change how you approach the problem and you can choose what you find rewarding in that problem and the approach. You can also choose to focus on what you've yet to attain. In our little parable here, the unhappy person is still unhappy that they have not yet found what they are looking for. We are getting terribly abstract now. But they could instead focus on what traction they have gained, they could "enjoy the art of the search," or whatever else they choose to put value on. But it comes down to what they value. Talks and whole books are written on this and I wont be able to do them justice. This mental outlook thing extends to depression. See CBT, Congnitive Behavioral Therapy, which reduces depression by changing how you think about things. One could choose to apply those techniques.
  - bradlys 5y ago
    A lot of this “choosing to be happy” as the way you describe it though is merely self-deception/lying-to-oneself. If I’m starving - I have every right to be upset. Yet in your mind - I should just learn to enjoy the search for food (even if it doesn’t exist) rather than being upset that I’m literally dying.