Behaviors also don't exist in a vacuum, they exist as responses to things, and while some of us want more professionalism at work and some of us less (often for

Behaviors also don't exist in a vacuum, they exist as responses to things, and while some of us want more professionalism at work and some of us less (often for good reasons), there are probably also situations in which shouting loudly in response to something, is way less "toxic" that not pushing back against it. I would say that in a healthy work environment, there is both an awareness that both actions and intentions matter, and that we all bring our own sensitivities to the table, and it matters less whether a person is "right" or "not", that the feelings that come up can be addressed. For example, I have seen people, from my perspective, take code reviews far too personally. I have also seen people, from my perspective, be far too personally insulting in code reviews. I am sure from others perspectives those lines would have been drawn in different places. But that's less important than can that be resolved - maybe it can be resolved by getting someone to change their PR style, and maybe it can be resolved by helping someone understand that no one on the team thinks they are dumb and actually understanding that no one meant any comment personally is an important part of growth... But in my experience in both organizations and relationships is that "what comes up" is less important that "how it is resolved" - because stuff always comes up - we're humans, with our big messy selves that feel lots of things, whether we want to or not or whether the feeling even comes from this circumstance or not