I think this phrasing is bad. It's not about what's first or second or any other order. It's about balance. You should prioritize your relationship regularly (

I think this phrasing is bad. It's not about what's first or second or any other order. It's about balance. You should prioritize your relationship regularly (e.g. every other week date night). You should prioritize talking to and educating your kids as much as possible. And as someone else mentioned, you're allowed to spend time with yourself, doing whatever productive or unproductive thing you want to do. But balance is key. And more importantly, communication. All of this breaks down when two people don't talk to each other. Talking is the hardest part because it can feel useful, or useless, or downright infuriating, and etc. Yet, anecdotally, two people in a relationship that actively work to talk to each other are going to enjoy their relationship (more) and probably do a better job raising kids. They'll also more quickly conclude that they shouldn't be together if it comes to that - something that is easy to overlook.