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> The joy of a child This is such a cliche that it almost meaningless but the JOY of a child is just insane. To have some around who is almost always happy to

> The joy of a child This is such a cliche that it almost meaningless but the JOY of a child is just insane. To have some around who is almost always happy to see you (and super pissed when you go away), initially at least, is just wonderful to be around. To me at least parenting is one of the most complete human experiences. It's joyous and terrifying, exciting and mundane, just all of the things at once. It's not for everyone sure but one thing I would say is that it's much easier to describe how hard it is, than it is to describe how amazing it is. Everyone understand that having to wipe someone else's ass for years isn't fun (tho it's not actually that bad) but it's difficult to put into words just how much joy there is.

GordonS 5y ago
> the JOY of a child is just insane It really is, and you just cannot understand it until you become a parent yourself. I used to roll my eyes when friends said that, but it's true. This'll probably sound really cheesy, but sometimes I look at my kids and it feels like my heart will burst with the love I feel for them.
- tomrod 5y ago
  Parent here, with teenagers. I wouldn't say it's impossible to understand. Imagine having a dog or other pet that you love ridiculously. Then one day the pet starts talking, reading, doing math homework instead of chewing your shoes as often. It's a wild ride.
  - GordonS 5y ago
    Before becoming a parent we had a much-loved cat, but, for me at least, the experience isn't remotely comparable. A talking cat sounds cool though :)
    - tomrod 5y ago
      I agree it's a hard comparison, but in my mind it's a difference of degree rather than class. Familial love is an awesome thing. It's lack in a person's life, when desired, can be heart breaking.
MrsPeaches 5y ago
Just to follow up on this a little, I want to give an example: When my kid started trying to stand up, they were SO excited about it. I mean they would try and stand up, stand for about 2 secs, be wildly excited, fall over and go through the whole thing again. That sort of joy and happiness is just infectious and so much fun to be around.
- wincy 5y ago
  My wife and I laughed to the point of crying the other day at our kindergarten aged daughter’s absolute stubborn insistence that we read her “letter” from school, and that we should text her teacher to ask her what it said, and her insistence that it was her teacher that had written it, when it literally was just the letters “sm sm sm” and “oa oa oa” obviously in a child’s handwriting over and over again. It turned into this weird exercise in absurdist humor (she wasn’t upset about it or anything, it was all in good fun). I also had the most fun in a game of Sorry ever yesterday with my wife and two girls. Hearing your three year old make a smarmy “sorry” voice and laughing as she knocks her sister back to the start is comedy gold.
wincy 5y ago
I agree and think there’s definitely some receptor or activation in the brain for happiness or cuteness that happens that wasn’t available before having children. We had cats when our first daughter was born and coming home from the hospital it’s like what was previously a 10 in cuteness (our cats) became like a 7 and our kids cuteness level was an 11. It was bizarre and amazing and immediately noticeable to me and my wife. It really felt like a new part of my brain function unlocked. Also, first kid was a breeze to take care of and we weren’t sleepy because we coslept. If you don’t drink or do drugs (which is what causes kids to get smothered) I highly recommend. Mom was amazed baby would sleep through the night and not fuss or ask for milk, and I said “honey she made noise several times you’d just roll over naturally and pop a boob in her mouth”. Our second one is physically disabled in some pretty profound ways (which I’ve talked about at length in other comments on HN so won’t go into here) so she’s way more of a pain, but I highly recommend cosleeping to anyone who will listen (which honestly isn’t most people).
- barbazoo 5y ago
  I would love to have co-slept when ours was little but we were pretty anxious about accidentally hurting them. Maybe next time.
  - wincy 5y ago
    I didn’t keep her on my side of the bed because we noticed I slept much more deeply than my wife did. However, my wife was still waking up well rested despite being relatively alert with the infant, breast feeding ad libitum. I’ve heard that this is a problem with women who have to go back to work though as the bottle feeding and such preps the child for day care. Our daughter got the majority of her calories from breast milk the first year and we were fortunate to have the luxury of being a single income family. Obviously this would be much more complicated with a two income earner situation.
    - barbazoo 5y ago
      Without maternity leave for sure. Good point re sleep depth. I'm definitely the one with deeper sleep.
hisnameisjimmy 5y ago
This is such a great articulation. It is completely insane how good it is. It blows my mind every day. My life prior to our child seems incredibly stupid by comparison.

GordonS 5y ago

> the JOY of a child is just insane It really is, and you just cannot understand it until you become a parent yourself. I used to roll my eyes when friends said that, but it's true. This'll probably sound really cheesy, but sometimes I look at my kids and it feels like my heart will burst with the love I feel for them.

tomrod 5y ago
Parent here, with teenagers. I wouldn't say it's impossible to understand. Imagine having a dog or other pet that you love ridiculously. Then one day the pet starts talking, reading, doing math homework instead of chewing your shoes as often. It's a wild ride.
- GordonS 5y ago
  Before becoming a parent we had a much-loved cat, but, for me at least, the experience isn't remotely comparable. A talking cat sounds cool though :)
  - tomrod 5y ago
    I agree it's a hard comparison, but in my mind it's a difference of degree rather than class. Familial love is an awesome thing. It's lack in a person's life, when desired, can be heart breaking.

MrsPeaches 5y ago

Just to follow up on this a little, I want to give an example: When my kid started trying to stand up, they were SO excited about it. I mean they would try and stand up, stand for about 2 secs, be wildly excited, fall over and go through the whole thing again. That sort of joy and happiness is just infectious and so much fun to be around.

wincy 5y ago
My wife and I laughed to the point of crying the other day at our kindergarten aged daughter’s absolute stubborn insistence that we read her “letter” from school, and that we should text her teacher to ask her what it said, and her insistence that it was her teacher that had written it, when it literally was just the letters “sm sm sm” and “oa oa oa” obviously in a child’s handwriting over and over again. It turned into this weird exercise in absurdist humor (she wasn’t upset about it or anything, it was all in good fun). I also had the most fun in a game of Sorry ever yesterday with my wife and two girls. Hearing your three year old make a smarmy “sorry” voice and laughing as she knocks her sister back to the start is comedy gold.

wincy 5y ago

I agree and think there’s definitely some receptor or activation in the brain for happiness or cuteness that happens that wasn’t available before having children. We had cats when our first daughter was born and coming home from the hospital it’s like what was previously a 10 in cuteness (our cats) became like a 7 and our kids cuteness level was an 11. It was bizarre and amazing and immediately noticeable to me and my wife. It really felt like a new part of my brain function unlocked. Also, first kid was a breeze to take care of and we weren’t sleepy because we coslept. If you don’t drink or do drugs (which is what causes kids to get smothered) I highly recommend. Mom was amazed baby would sleep through the night and not fuss or ask for milk, and I said “honey she made noise several times you’d just roll over naturally and pop a boob in her mouth”. Our second one is physically disabled in some pretty profound ways (which I’ve talked about at length in other comments on HN so won’t go into here) so she’s way more of a pain, but I highly recommend cosleeping to anyone who will listen (which honestly isn’t most people).

barbazoo 5y ago
I would love to have co-slept when ours was little but we were pretty anxious about accidentally hurting them. Maybe next time.
- wincy 5y ago
  I didn’t keep her on my side of the bed because we noticed I slept much more deeply than my wife did. However, my wife was still waking up well rested despite being relatively alert with the infant, breast feeding ad libitum. I’ve heard that this is a problem with women who have to go back to work though as the bottle feeding and such preps the child for day care. Our daughter got the majority of her calories from breast milk the first year and we were fortunate to have the luxury of being a single income family. Obviously this would be much more complicated with a two income earner situation.
  - barbazoo 5y ago
    Without maternity leave for sure. Good point re sleep depth. I'm definitely the one with deeper sleep.

hisnameisjimmy 5y ago

This is such a great articulation. It is completely insane how good it is. It blows my mind every day. My life prior to our child seems incredibly stupid by comparison.