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Except it wasn’t the legos causing the trouble. It was a few kids. Instead of correcting those kids that were being selfish jerks they blamed the toy and puni

by DiffEq 5y ago

Except it wasn’t the legos causing the trouble. It was a few kids. Instead of correcting those kids that were being selfish jerks they blamed the toy and punished everyone. Well those kids will still be selfish jerks, the problem remains.

jacobolus 5y ago
Kids aren’t selfish jerks because they are inherently bad, but because as kids they have strong emotional responses and poor emotional control, are self centered and bad at interpreting/understanding other people’s feelings, and haven’t learned effective alternative strategies for solving problems yet. Luckily, these are substantially trainable skills. Removing the toy that is the focus of a lot of interpersonal drama is (sometimes) a quick way to diffuse the immediate conflict. Then talking together about how different people are feeling in a particular circumstance and getting group feedback on ways to solve problems constructively is the way to help kids improve at the skills they are lacking.
- TeeMassive 5y ago
  > Removing the toy that is the focus of a lot of interpersonal drama is (sometimes) a quick way to diffuse the immediate conflict. Then talking together about how different people are feeling in a particular circumstance and getting group feedback on ways to solve problems constructively is the way to help kids improve at the skills they are lacking. If all possible source of conflicts are removed than when significant conflicts are going to arise and be learned from? This is self-contradicting.
- BaronVonSteuben 5y ago
  Are you sure that interpreting/understanding other people's feelings can be taught? Having worked with many kids, I'm not so sure about that.
rdtwo 5y ago
Essentially it’s a higher power burn it down approach. It would be like if the response to BLM was to raise cites where inequalities were happening. I’m sure most of the looters would not have minded that outcome.

by DiffEq 5y ago

jacobolus 5y ago

Kids aren’t selfish jerks because they are inherently bad, but because as kids they have strong emotional responses and poor emotional control, are self centered and bad at interpreting/understanding other people’s feelings, and haven’t learned effective alternative strategies for solving problems yet. Luckily, these are substantially trainable skills. Removing the toy that is the focus of a lot of interpersonal drama is (sometimes) a quick way to diffuse the immediate conflict. Then talking together about how different people are feeling in a particular circumstance and getting group feedback on ways to solve problems constructively is the way to help kids improve at the skills they are lacking.

TeeMassive 5y ago
> Removing the toy that is the focus of a lot of interpersonal drama is (sometimes) a quick way to diffuse the immediate conflict. Then talking together about how different people are feeling in a particular circumstance and getting group feedback on ways to solve problems constructively is the way to help kids improve at the skills they are lacking. If all possible source of conflicts are removed than when significant conflicts are going to arise and be learned from? This is self-contradicting.
BaronVonSteuben 5y ago
Are you sure that interpreting/understanding other people's feelings can be taught? Having worked with many kids, I'm not so sure about that.

rdtwo 5y ago

Essentially it’s a higher power burn it down approach. It would be like if the response to BLM was to raise cites where inequalities were happening. I’m sure most of the looters would not have minded that outcome.