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> I had the impression it was the other way around. Women judged on appearence and men judged on financial success. Women judge harshly on appearance as much a

> I had the impression it was the other way around. Women judged on appearence and men judged on financial success. Women judge harshly on appearance as much as men. It's just that women tend to not be as forward with it. But women's behavior on dating apps clearly shows that women are actually far more picky than men when it comes to physical appearance. Financial success is important too - but you gotta start somewhere and looks are an easy way to start. For most men - this is unsolvable as the height standards are deeply ingrained in our culture and only 15% of men will ever meet that criterion.

zozbot234 5y ago
Dating apps are an artificial environment that's inherently unfavorable to the majority of men with less readily-apparent advantages. Meet women as friends in more social environments and this is not going to be an issue.
- bradlys 5y ago
  > Meet women as friends in more social environments and this is not going to be an issue. Unfortunately - this behavior has cascaded over into the general environment. Most women I talk to now are very explicit about their beauty standards they have for the men they’re interested in dating - and they’re always quite a bit more harsh than the men I’ve talked to. But I’ve also lived on the west coast where the gender ratios from 18-35 are the worst in the country. Any major metro in the US has more men than women from 18-35 but still - it’s really bad over here. Women can be picky because they’re fine with being alone (or having a dog). Most men aren’t (thus the incredibly high suicide rates).
  - zozbot234 5y ago
    Beauty is also the kind of thing that's easy to talk about, though. I don't believe that any sensible woman would only care about how handsome their partner is. They can afford to be picky, being in the minority - but they'll be generally picky. And if you can show off compelling qualities, whatever they might be, that's enough to be in the running because so many guys simply don't bother and become practically invisible.
    - bradlys 5y ago
      You really like to setup a strawman here. > I don't believe that any sensible woman would only care about how handsome their partner is. I've never said that. It's just that matters upfront the most. Most people are not interested in giving others a chance because we don't live in a world of scarcity anymore for dating. If a woman is interested in dating - she can open an app and get a date setup the next day. It almost doesn't matter who the woman is. The same cannot be said for most men. This leads to people in real life knowing there's an alternative and banking on that alternative. Yes, maybe they want to meet someone in real life but if real life isn't delivering what they want - they go online and can find something closer to what they want. The data backs this up. The general narrative of dating currently backs this up. Ultimately - the strategy doesn't work great for marriage or long term relationships (because the men they tend to match with are not willing to commit to them) but it does work great for casual dating and getting sex. Again - you have to ask yourself - how many people really want to date someone they don't find physically attractive? The data says women are more picky about this. Most women find most men physically unattractive and they don't want to date physically unattractive men. This just isn't the case on the other side.
  - DanBC 5y ago
    > Most men aren’t (thus the incredibly high suicide rates). There are lots of factors that contribute to the gender gap in suicide in some countries, but this isn't one of them.
    - CRConrad 5y ago
      How do you know it isn't?

zozbot234 5y ago

Dating apps are an artificial environment that's inherently unfavorable to the majority of men with less readily-apparent advantages. Meet women as friends in more social environments and this is not going to be an issue.

bradlys 5y ago
> Meet women as friends in more social environments and this is not going to be an issue. Unfortunately - this behavior has cascaded over into the general environment. Most women I talk to now are very explicit about their beauty standards they have for the men they’re interested in dating - and they’re always quite a bit more harsh than the men I’ve talked to. But I’ve also lived on the west coast where the gender ratios from 18-35 are the worst in the country. Any major metro in the US has more men than women from 18-35 but still - it’s really bad over here. Women can be picky because they’re fine with being alone (or having a dog). Most men aren’t (thus the incredibly high suicide rates).
- zozbot234 5y ago
  Beauty is also the kind of thing that's easy to talk about, though. I don't believe that any sensible woman would only care about how handsome their partner is. They can afford to be picky, being in the minority - but they'll be generally picky. And if you can show off compelling qualities, whatever they might be, that's enough to be in the running because so many guys simply don't bother and become practically invisible.
  - bradlys 5y ago
    You really like to setup a strawman here. > I don't believe that any sensible woman would only care about how handsome their partner is. I've never said that. It's just that matters upfront the most. Most people are not interested in giving others a chance because we don't live in a world of scarcity anymore for dating. If a woman is interested in dating - she can open an app and get a date setup the next day. It almost doesn't matter who the woman is. The same cannot be said for most men. This leads to people in real life knowing there's an alternative and banking on that alternative. Yes, maybe they want to meet someone in real life but if real life isn't delivering what they want - they go online and can find something closer to what they want. The data backs this up. The general narrative of dating currently backs this up. Ultimately - the strategy doesn't work great for marriage or long term relationships (because the men they tend to match with are not willing to commit to them) but it does work great for casual dating and getting sex. Again - you have to ask yourself - how many people really want to date someone they don't find physically attractive? The data says women are more picky about this. Most women find most men physically unattractive and they don't want to date physically unattractive men. This just isn't the case on the other side.
- DanBC 5y ago
  > Most men aren’t (thus the incredibly high suicide rates). There are lots of factors that contribute to the gender gap in suicide in some countries, but this isn't one of them.
  - CRConrad 5y ago
    How do you know it isn't?