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We tried the budget approach, and for us it just leads to endless discussions, especially when we wanted to do something that interfered with their screen time

We tried the budget approach, and for us it just leads to endless discussions, especially when we wanted to do something that interfered with their screen time (eg. they didn't want to go to the pool or visit grandma because then they wouldn't have time for minecraft). I personally think that a bit of leniency works better than totally rigid rules. But it's of course still a constant struggle, because what works one week doesn't work the next, as the kids are going through different phases all the time.

hinkley 5y ago
It's always a tradeoff between keeping rules simple enough that "you know the rules" can foreshorten a long and exhausting exchange, and them trying to language lawyer the simple rules. Especially since part of growing up is constantly testing boundaries. This plays out almost as often at work. Most of the time it doesn't amount to me seeing the person as a big kid playing grownup, but that's happened a few times. At least in the work situation I've come to see this as a subsection of the Rule of Three, which I call the Rule of Two - It's okay that everything is an X except if it's a Y. Once 'Z' comes into the picture you need to refactor to come up with workable rules again. I am not aware of having a similar narrative with children or pets, although I seem to be on the cusp on one with children.