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This is a rationalization parents do in order to avoid the feeling that comes with implicitly (or explicitly) being criticized on their parenting. "This modern

This is a rationalization parents do in order to avoid the feeling that comes with implicitly (or explicitly) being criticized on their parenting. "This modern world is too complex", "I have no time for it", "I can't afford such a luxury", "kids are just going to be contrarian". So they come out with easy punishments as a "solution". It isn't an easy task, but it's not an insurmountable one to have a chat with a teenager to figure out what kind of life they want to lead in the future and work out with them *as a peer* what they objectively need to do to get there and how they can manage that. Then revise and review the plan every year or so. Let them figure out what time they can allocate to their hobbies and only make suggestions if you disagree. If your child is a kid, where they can't possibly be mature enough to start discussing his adult life, then just let them play the freaking game. If you're giving them love, they're socializing enough not to feel isolated, are getting basic education, not suffering from malnutrition, and are not being traumatized by helicopter parenting, cults and other similar shit, you're likely doing your job fine. Don't ruin it by trying to architect the ever-living shit out of someone else's life.

micromacrofoot 5y ago
You're reducing the point to fit a specific narrative so you can counter the entire argument with a shallow statement like "helicopter parents bad." I'm not talking about helicopter parenting, I'm talking about combating multi-billion dollar companies with full-time psychologists on staff that are making concentrated efforts to get children addicted to their platforms, sometimes at the cost of their mental health. "Let them play the freaking game" isn't a counter-point to the concept of children losing sleep and failing classes because they're up at 3am doom-scrolling instagram and falling into depression about the way they look. A phenomenon that the company is aware of and has done nothing about[1]. Large social media companies are creating social dynamics that they barely understand to generate ad revenue, and to opt-out of these networks can lead to social isolation amongst peers. This isn't a simple matter of having more conversations with your kids or instilling specific values. The cards are so stacked against parents this is akin to telling your kids that all the feedback the world gives them (peers, popular media) is wrong. Many adults are even ill-equipped to handle this for themselves. [1]: https://www.wsj.com/articles/facebook-knows-instagram-is-toxic-for-teen-girls-company-documents-show-11631620739 https://www.wsj.com/articles/facebook-knows-instagram-is-tox...
popotamonga 5y ago
When i let 'play the freaking game' = play till 5am with friends, failed 1 yr school etc etc

micromacrofoot 5y ago

You're reducing the point to fit a specific narrative so you can counter the entire argument with a shallow statement like "helicopter parents bad." I'm not talking about helicopter parenting, I'm talking about combating multi-billion dollar companies with full-time psychologists on staff that are making concentrated efforts to get children addicted to their platforms, sometimes at the cost of their mental health. "Let them play the freaking game" isn't a counter-point to the concept of children losing sleep and failing classes because they're up at 3am doom-scrolling instagram and falling into depression about the way they look. A phenomenon that the company is aware of and has done nothing about[1]. Large social media companies are creating social dynamics that they barely understand to generate ad revenue, and to opt-out of these networks can lead to social isolation amongst peers. This isn't a simple matter of having more conversations with your kids or instilling specific values. The cards are so stacked against parents this is akin to telling your kids that all the feedback the world gives them (peers, popular media) is wrong. Many adults are even ill-equipped to handle this for themselves. [1]: https://www.wsj.com/articles/facebook-knows-instagram-is-toxic-for-teen-girls-company-documents-show-11631620739 https://www.wsj.com/articles/facebook-knows-instagram-is-tox...

popotamonga 5y ago

When i let 'play the freaking game' = play till 5am with friends, failed 1 yr school etc etc