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> completely block him out outside of school hours > He's never been as respectful, attentive, or creative. I hope the latter statement is true and is not jus

> completely block him out outside of school hours > He's never been as respectful, attentive, or creative. I hope the latter statement is true and is not just satisfaction from completely controlling your childrens life. Because blocking all electronic after school is certainly the harshest thing I've ever heard of.

idontwantthis 5y ago
I completely agree with you, and it took me years to come to terms with the necessity of it. There is so much more positive emotion in my home after making this change. In fact, I exert less control than I used to because now I trust him to be taking care of himself. He gets his work done, he learns new things on his own, and he takes more responsibility for his own health and well being.
- tombert 5y ago
  How much of this is just timing though? Anecdata, but my parents took my computer away a bunch of times and restricted me from watching TV on weekdays, and I still got terrible grades in middle and high school (though I almost always did well on tests, just didn't like doing homework). My grades didn't get measurably worse when I got the computer back, and my parents stopped taking it away from me when they saw that I was teaching myself how to code for fun, because I think they realized that is a marketable skill, and I think I taught myself to code (and my grades started improving) because I simply grew up a bit. Granted, there weren't really "smartphones" throughout most of my high school years, and I didn't even have a laptop at that point either, so it's possible my information is out of date.
Spivak 5y ago
Yeah, if my parents tried to control that much of my life while I was living with them I would be in "basically live at a friends house and move out at 18" mode. Because holy shit "nigh completely cutting off the social life of a kid during their formative years" is brutal. It's gotta be so hard for them to maintain friendships, when I was in HS if you totaled up my Snap/Discord/IG/Texts/iMessage I probably sent 5k messages/mo -- all to IRL friends, and I wasn't even that social.

idontwantthis 5y ago

I completely agree with you, and it took me years to come to terms with the necessity of it. There is so much more positive emotion in my home after making this change. In fact, I exert less control than I used to because now I trust him to be taking care of himself. He gets his work done, he learns new things on his own, and he takes more responsibility for his own health and well being.

tombert 5y ago
How much of this is just timing though? Anecdata, but my parents took my computer away a bunch of times and restricted me from watching TV on weekdays, and I still got terrible grades in middle and high school (though I almost always did well on tests, just didn't like doing homework). My grades didn't get measurably worse when I got the computer back, and my parents stopped taking it away from me when they saw that I was teaching myself how to code for fun, because I think they realized that is a marketable skill, and I think I taught myself to code (and my grades started improving) because I simply grew up a bit. Granted, there weren't really "smartphones" throughout most of my high school years, and I didn't even have a laptop at that point either, so it's possible my information is out of date.

Spivak 5y ago

Yeah, if my parents tried to control that much of my life while I was living with them I would be in "basically live at a friends house and move out at 18" mode. Because holy shit "nigh completely cutting off the social life of a kid during their formative years" is brutal. It's gotta be so hard for them to maintain friendships, when I was in HS if you totaled up my Snap/Discord/IG/Texts/iMessage I probably sent 5k messages/mo -- all to IRL friends, and I wasn't even that social.