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That's ridiculous. I can't imagine tip toeing around people like that. There's a big difference between being rude and being to the point. What you're describin

by alar44 5y ago

That's ridiculous. I can't imagine tip toeing around people like that. There's a big difference between being rude and being to the point. What you're describing is manipulative, patronizing, and weird.

sumtechguy 5y ago
Sometimes people just want to be heard. Even if they are wrong. Sometimes you will find they are even right and your assumptions are wrong. Stop and listen first then speak. It lets people get the wrong impression of you. Think I got that from Men in Black.
olvy0 5y ago
Yeah, it does look like as me being patronizing and creepy, I suppose. My inept social skills showing. But I have no idea how else to deal with those people who genuinely want to help me help them, but keep making suggestions and developing weird theories that aren't connected to reality and which aren't helpful. Everything else I tried just seems to insult them more. In normal day-to-day conversations with most other people (including the same people when we're not in a professional setting) I'm not like that. At least I hope not.
- alar44 5y ago
  Just stop worrying about it. At the end of the day, they just want their shit fixed. I just explain why their idea isn't the solution. "We could monitor calls before we switched to Bluetooth headsets, I think that might be the problem." Me "Nope, the audio is going through and monitoring is handled on the back end, it's something else." You don't need to explain exactly why, just give em a reasonable answer. It helps them learn (maybe) at the same time. If you're not being a jerk, and their feelings are hurt for some reason, that's on them.
  - bryanrasmussen 5y ago
    I suppose that the parent poster has some difficulties not coming off patronizing and rude, there can be lots of reasons for this, for example your 'nope...' is very dependent on tone of voice, some people might sound like they think someone else is an idiot without meaning to. So, it seems like their way of doing it works to put the user at ease and also themselves at ease. I suggest they keep on doing it the way they are doing it despite it not being the most optimal way possible, optimizing for things can break processes. In other words - if it ain't broke don't fix it.
_ea1k 5y ago
In a support setting, sometimes subtle manipulation is practically the only way. See also the stories of tech support people suggesting that cables might be plugged in the "wrong way around". Lots of support tricks work, even when they shouldn't.
- alar44 5y ago
  I work in tech support as well. I just give them a one sentence answer why that's not the problem and move on. Granted, I'm a director so I can be frank if I need to, but my support team wont take any bullshit. If people want to whine, send them my way and I'll ask whether they want to save my team the time and troubleshoot themselves, or let the people trained on our systems handle it.

by alar44 5y ago

sumtechguy 5y ago

Sometimes people just want to be heard. Even if they are wrong. Sometimes you will find they are even right and your assumptions are wrong. Stop and listen first then speak. It lets people get the wrong impression of you. Think I got that from Men in Black.

olvy0 5y ago

Yeah, it does look like as me being patronizing and creepy, I suppose. My inept social skills showing. But I have no idea how else to deal with those people who genuinely want to help me help them, but keep making suggestions and developing weird theories that aren't connected to reality and which aren't helpful. Everything else I tried just seems to insult them more. In normal day-to-day conversations with most other people (including the same people when we're not in a professional setting) I'm not like that. At least I hope not.

alar44 5y ago
Just stop worrying about it. At the end of the day, they just want their shit fixed. I just explain why their idea isn't the solution. "We could monitor calls before we switched to Bluetooth headsets, I think that might be the problem." Me "Nope, the audio is going through and monitoring is handled on the back end, it's something else." You don't need to explain exactly why, just give em a reasonable answer. It helps them learn (maybe) at the same time. If you're not being a jerk, and their feelings are hurt for some reason, that's on them.
- bryanrasmussen 5y ago
  I suppose that the parent poster has some difficulties not coming off patronizing and rude, there can be lots of reasons for this, for example your 'nope...' is very dependent on tone of voice, some people might sound like they think someone else is an idiot without meaning to. So, it seems like their way of doing it works to put the user at ease and also themselves at ease. I suggest they keep on doing it the way they are doing it despite it not being the most optimal way possible, optimizing for things can break processes. In other words - if it ain't broke don't fix it.

_ea1k 5y ago

In a support setting, sometimes subtle manipulation is practically the only way. See also the stories of tech support people suggesting that cables might be plugged in the "wrong way around". Lots of support tricks work, even when they shouldn't.

alar44 5y ago
I work in tech support as well. I just give them a one sentence answer why that's not the problem and move on. Granted, I'm a director so I can be frank if I need to, but my support team wont take any bullshit. If people want to whine, send them my way and I'll ask whether they want to save my team the time and troubleshoot themselves, or let the people trained on our systems handle it.