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Most people here probably spent a lot of time in front of a computer as teens and were not very 'popular'. Now they are relatively materially well off, and wish

Most people here probably spent a lot of time in front of a computer as teens and were not very 'popular'. Now they are relatively materially well off, and wish they could go back and redo their teenage years with their newfound skills/knowledge/wealth. All forms of media also greatly amplify the fear of missing out, having missed out, and makes it seem as if everybody else is/was 'doing it' and having fun. In reality, if they did 'party it up' back then, now they would probably be recommending you do the opposite and dedicate all your efforts to studying. The truth is, no matter what you do, you can and probably will have regrets.

Utkarsh_Mood 5y ago
That makes a lot of sense, about the regrets part, do you think that can be minimized at the very least by setting goals? So that you can look back and see that you actively and consciously committed to them.
- agent008t 5y ago
  Not really. Humans are not designed to be happy and satisfied (and if you are happy and satisfied, why would you be setting any goals?), and they like to ascribe meaning to their dissatisfaction. A lot of times that can result in looking at past decisions with regrets, thinking that you should've done this or that. The fact that we have a very skewed vision of our own past does not help. Recognizing this, being more in the present moment, cultivating equanimity are some of the ways of dealing with it.
  - Utkarsh_Mood 5y ago
    thats a really great way of looking at things, thank you!
everforward 5y ago
> makes it seem as if everybody else is/was 'doing it' and having fun. Just to dig into this part, I think media dramatically over-represents how much sex everyone is having, which causes people to think they missed out on a lot more. The average heterosexual person has had sex with 4-6 people (lesbians are about the same, gay men are higher). It's not hard to find a TV show where the characters are above that amount in a month, which I think gives the impression that people are having sex with a lot more people than is really realistic. Likewise, the average age for losing virginity is 17, so it's not uncommon for people to be virgins in college and beyond. That's not to cast aspersions on anyone above or below, but I think it's important to keep in mind that there's a separation between real life and movies about college.

Utkarsh_Mood 5y ago

That makes a lot of sense, about the regrets part, do you think that can be minimized at the very least by setting goals? So that you can look back and see that you actively and consciously committed to them.

agent008t 5y ago
Not really. Humans are not designed to be happy and satisfied (and if you are happy and satisfied, why would you be setting any goals?), and they like to ascribe meaning to their dissatisfaction. A lot of times that can result in looking at past decisions with regrets, thinking that you should've done this or that. The fact that we have a very skewed vision of our own past does not help. Recognizing this, being more in the present moment, cultivating equanimity are some of the ways of dealing with it.
- Utkarsh_Mood 5y ago
  thats a really great way of looking at things, thank you!

everforward 5y ago

> makes it seem as if everybody else is/was 'doing it' and having fun. Just to dig into this part, I think media dramatically over-represents how much sex everyone is having, which causes people to think they missed out on a lot more. The average heterosexual person has had sex with 4-6 people (lesbians are about the same, gay men are higher). It's not hard to find a TV show where the characters are above that amount in a month, which I think gives the impression that people are having sex with a lot more people than is really realistic. Likewise, the average age for losing virginity is 17, so it's not uncommon for people to be virgins in college and beyond. That's not to cast aspersions on anyone above or below, but I think it's important to keep in mind that there's a separation between real life and movies about college.