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> The biggest reason I don't maintain contact with people from my past is I was a much worse person in my past and I'm either embarrassed about my behavior or c

> The biggest reason I don't maintain contact with people from my past is I was a much worse person in my past and I'm either embarrassed about my behavior or concerned that my shittiness is what led to our relationship in the first place. I feel the same. In fact, I intentionally avoid interacting with people from my past since they may have bad memories involving me that I'd be resurfacing by contacting them. I've considered reaching out to certain people to apologize, but I stopped when I realized I was mostly just looking for absolution rather than actually trying to make them feel better. To me, the kindest thing I can do is stay out of their lives.

kiutroap 5y ago
I do the same, but it often makes me worried about what kind of person I am. I don't really have too much to apologize about - at least that I know of. But for some reason, I tend to grow apart from people who know my past or who simply know too much about me. Not every single one of them, but apart from very few people, this is the case. I think it's safe to say I have trust issues, but I never understood why, as I haven't suffered any trauma and don't really have a reason to be this way. I consider this to be a bad trait, because finding new friends isn't easy and I'm trying to get rid of this habit.
- _km76 5y ago
  If you don't like people knowing too much about you, consider reading up on schizoid personality disorder. I'm not saying that you have it, but that particular foible is certainly reminiscent of it.
  - kiutroap 5y ago
    Thank you, it was an interesting read. Despite my enjoyment for introspection, I'm hesitant to do self-diagnosis based on a Wikipedia and a few articles around the Internet. But, as far as I can tell, this is just me being an introvert guy who spent most of his life in front of a computer instead of socializing. I'm, however, aware of my issues and slowly becoming a better person, or rather a person I'd like to be. In this particular case, I don't think that knowing the name of my supposed diagnosis would help me in any way.
formeruser 5y ago
I know I'm not particularly unique in having that sort of past, but it's comforting to hear someone else share these thoughts. Thank you.

kiutroap 5y ago

I do the same, but it often makes me worried about what kind of person I am. I don't really have too much to apologize about - at least that I know of. But for some reason, I tend to grow apart from people who know my past or who simply know too much about me. Not every single one of them, but apart from very few people, this is the case. I think it's safe to say I have trust issues, but I never understood why, as I haven't suffered any trauma and don't really have a reason to be this way. I consider this to be a bad trait, because finding new friends isn't easy and I'm trying to get rid of this habit.

_km76 5y ago
If you don't like people knowing too much about you, consider reading up on schizoid personality disorder. I'm not saying that you have it, but that particular foible is certainly reminiscent of it.
- kiutroap 5y ago
  Thank you, it was an interesting read. Despite my enjoyment for introspection, I'm hesitant to do self-diagnosis based on a Wikipedia and a few articles around the Internet. But, as far as I can tell, this is just me being an introvert guy who spent most of his life in front of a computer instead of socializing. I'm, however, aware of my issues and slowly becoming a better person, or rather a person I'd like to be. In this particular case, I don't think that knowing the name of my supposed diagnosis would help me in any way.

formeruser 5y ago

I know I'm not particularly unique in having that sort of past, but it's comforting to hear someone else share these thoughts. Thank you.