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I dunno, I am very bad on the phone and an introvert but I found that even after a few years I have people who are genuinely happy to speak with me. I forced my

I dunno, I am very bad on the phone and an introvert but I found that even after a few years I have people who are genuinely happy to speak with me. I forced myself to call one of them last week and reconnected. Not my best friend but feels good

Jeff_Brown 5y ago
The forcing is weird, right? Why in the world does it take so much work to reach out to someone? The obvious explanation would be fear of rejection. Another story you could tell is fear of connection due to opportunity cost -- what if, among all the people you could connect with, this one isn't a great choice but will end up consuming a lot of your time? But I think it's probably the first.
- stronglikedan 5y ago
  It's simpler than that. I don't feel the need to maintain relationships for my day to day well being, but I force myself to, because I don't want to die alone someday. But I also recognize that I'm an extreme hermit/introvert who is happy calling my dog my "SO", and will probably end up dying alone in a cabin in the woods someday, so it may all just be futile anyway.
  - Jeff_Brown 5y ago
    I really am of two minds. My natural inclination until I was married was to stay in and hack computer music most of the time, work out when it seemed like a good time, go to coffee with people at work, and maybe go to a party once a week. But my favorite experiences are usually conversations. Mountains, oceans, etc. are nice too but really the most fun I have is in conversation. And yet I have to force myself to pursue it.
- throwaway2037 5y ago
  You wrote: <<The forcing is weird, right? Why in the world does it take so much work to reach out to someone?>> No, forcing isn't weird if you have an introverted personality. I work with many people who have a strongly introverted personality. (I am a mixed bag!) They have taught me lots of social skills about how to interactive with people who have a different type of personality. I am happy that the GP made the effort to make contact with "old friends". I hope the other side understood it was a big leap for you and made a good effort to be a friendly contact. I with GP luck in their effort to maintain contact while being an introverted person!

Jeff_Brown 5y ago

The forcing is weird, right? Why in the world does it take so much work to reach out to someone? The obvious explanation would be fear of rejection. Another story you could tell is fear of connection due to opportunity cost -- what if, among all the people you could connect with, this one isn't a great choice but will end up consuming a lot of your time? But I think it's probably the first.

stronglikedan 5y ago
It's simpler than that. I don't feel the need to maintain relationships for my day to day well being, but I force myself to, because I don't want to die alone someday. But I also recognize that I'm an extreme hermit/introvert who is happy calling my dog my "SO", and will probably end up dying alone in a cabin in the woods someday, so it may all just be futile anyway.
- Jeff_Brown 5y ago
  I really am of two minds. My natural inclination until I was married was to stay in and hack computer music most of the time, work out when it seemed like a good time, go to coffee with people at work, and maybe go to a party once a week. But my favorite experiences are usually conversations. Mountains, oceans, etc. are nice too but really the most fun I have is in conversation. And yet I have to force myself to pursue it.
throwaway2037 5y ago
You wrote: <<The forcing is weird, right? Why in the world does it take so much work to reach out to someone?>> No, forcing isn't weird if you have an introverted personality. I work with many people who have a strongly introverted personality. (I am a mixed bag!) They have taught me lots of social skills about how to interactive with people who have a different type of personality. I am happy that the GP made the effort to make contact with "old friends". I hope the other side understood it was a big leap for you and made a good effort to be a friendly contact. I with GP luck in their effort to maintain contact while being an introverted person!