5 ms·

Well, then ... why did you forget, when you (believe you've) actually cared?

Juliate 5y ago
Well, life? Just managing your own home requires a lot of organisation, and even if you do care, you will have a hard time to cope for long without some tools to help you (calendars, notes, schedules, only to name those). Unless someone does it for you. Or unless you live a very simple life that can fit in your head all the time, of course. Likewise, seeing your friends fading away, not responding to you might be because they've just forgotten you, or don't want to see you anymore, or they are just drowning in their own life. And maybe with time they will cope/react differently, maybe not. Considering that friendship/care only can be spontaneous and not prepared/provisional, this is disingenuous and borderline toxic (to both you and others).
yreg 5y ago
This reads a bit like asking a depressed person why they don't just stop being sad.
ghusbands 5y ago
There's poor memory, depression, ADHD, low-level addiction, social anxiety, poor memory and a great number of other things that can keep one from contacting friends. There are many people in this thread who clearly do care and have trouble doing/remembering, so I'm not sure why you'd choose to respond this way to someone you're more likely to hurt.
- Cederfjard 5y ago
  Yeah, it's seems like poor empathy or a lack of imagination or life experience to not be able to conceive how people can forget things they care about. We'd all do well to remember that any given thing that's easy for us might be difficult for someone else, and not necessarily through some personal failing on their part. Also, I see what you did there. :)
koonsolo 5y ago
Do you know that Time Management Matrix with urgent/non-urgent on one side and important/not-important on the other? Most of the time, life pushes us towards the urgent & important, and even urgent & not-important. When you have a busy life (full time job building a side business with a family with kids), it's just very hard to put the non-urgent & important on the agenda. Not all things that are important are urgent.
Kiro 5y ago
You think you're promoting care but you come off as extremely obnoxious and the kind of person I certainly wouldn't want as a friend.
iovrthoughtthis 5y ago
why does anyone forget?

Well, life? Just managing your own home requires a lot of organisation, and even if you do care, you will have a hard time to cope for long without some tools to help you (calendars, notes, schedules, only to name those). Unless someone does it for you. Or unless you live a very simple life that can fit in your head all the time, of course. Likewise, seeing your friends fading away, not responding to you might be because they've just forgotten you, or don't want to see you anymore, or they are just drowning in their own life. And maybe with time they will cope/react differently, maybe not. Considering that friendship/care only can be spontaneous and not prepared/provisional, this is disingenuous and borderline toxic (to both you and others).

yreg 5y ago

This reads a bit like asking a depressed person why they don't just stop being sad.

ghusbands 5y ago

There's poor memory, depression, ADHD, low-level addiction, social anxiety, poor memory and a great number of other things that can keep one from contacting friends. There are many people in this thread who clearly do care and have trouble doing/remembering, so I'm not sure why you'd choose to respond this way to someone you're more likely to hurt.

Cederfjard 5y ago
Yeah, it's seems like poor empathy or a lack of imagination or life experience to not be able to conceive how people can forget things they care about. We'd all do well to remember that any given thing that's easy for us might be difficult for someone else, and not necessarily through some personal failing on their part. Also, I see what you did there. :)

koonsolo 5y ago

Do you know that Time Management Matrix with urgent/non-urgent on one side and important/not-important on the other? Most of the time, life pushes us towards the urgent & important, and even urgent & not-important. When you have a busy life (full time job building a side business with a family with kids), it's just very hard to put the non-urgent & important on the agenda. Not all things that are important are urgent.

Kiro 5y ago

You think you're promoting care but you come off as extremely obnoxious and the kind of person I certainly wouldn't want as a friend.

iovrthoughtthis 5y ago

why does anyone forget?