I grew up moving a lot before email was ubiquitous. Also all my family is overseas. As a kid I would try so hard to stay in touch and it never worked. The har

I grew up moving a lot before email was ubiquitous. Also all my family is overseas. As a kid I would try so hard to stay in touch and it never worked. The harder I tried the more it hurt for those attempts to fail. But I'd see family once a year or so and we'd catch up and it was always wonderful. I think about people all the time, but it doesn't trigger my reaching out. It's like a really deeply ingrained learned helplessness or generalized relational despair. Some people for a variety of reasons, some cognitive, some environmental, don't have their internal desires intrinsically tied to the psychological pressure to take action. Due to surgeries and anesthesia I also developed aphantasia, so anything short of in person interactions feels quite hollow. Be glad your experience in life is healthy and normative, for some of us it takes effort.