3 ms·

He didn’t talk about friends you are. Still you can safely assume most of the people in the three weeks category are close contacts. Unless you are in college

He didn’t talk about friends you are. Still you can safely assume most of the people in the three weeks category are close contacts. Unless you are in college and have little to no obligations, it gets hard to stay in touch with all your friends and keep track of what is happening to them. It’s not treating people like assets. He is putting efforts on his side towards keeping connections and to do that he needs tools to help. What does it change that he uses reminder to think about reaching out? In the end he is still the one doing work towards fostering relationships.

lelandfe 5y ago
The author explicitly says the goal of this work is for opportunities
- gostsamo 5y ago
  From the article: > Most importantly, I always send the kind of messages I’d like to receive. They’re short, genuine, and (ideally) helpful. I never try to sell anything and there’s no agenda other than to keep in touch. You might've read that: > So unless you have a solid system, chances are high that you won’t reach out to people regularly and miss out on a ton of fun and opportunities. but intentionally miss the fun part and treat "opportunities" only in thebusiness context and do not allow for alternative interpretations like intellectual or personal development.
- WastingMyTime89 5y ago
  The author says it’s the easiest and most effective way to make your life more serendipitous and that if you don’t you will miss on fun and opportunities which is very true. I never go have coffee or enjoy unforeseen activities with people I don’t speak to. Having a large network of lively relationship is indeed a sure way to have more things happening in your life. Also people enjoy other people reaching out to them. Once again there is nothing unusable in what OP is doing. Having tools to help you keep in touch with people is a necessity in any position where you need to maintain good relationships with a large number of people. It takes effort and is a good thing.
- rowanajmarshall 5y ago
  Yes - opportunities for house parties, for new flatmates. For joining a D&D group, or a sports team. Maybe for a new job, or a new hire. Or even a future partner.
- otikik 5y ago
  I don't read it as being the goal. More like one of his motivations.
gjulianm 5y ago
I think there are two sides to this: scheduling the contact and triggering the thought to contact. The first one is ok, we schedule things we care about all the time. The second one is the weird one, and to me the OP is more about the second part. If your problem is that you're busy doing things, an email in the morning (probably not the only one you have) is not going to help too much. Contacts will still get delayed in favor of other things. To me, the OP system reads like a system that doesn't help with scheduling, but with triggering the thoughts. For example, say that a friend tells me they're going through a rough time and I want to spend some time talking to them, but I'm busy and don't have that much time. The system doesn't have a "contact NOW" trigger, for example. I also find it weird that there's a "three week contact" category. I'd guess that for close contacts, something reminds you of them every once in a while, you probably don't need anything more than "hey what's up" in a message so you can send it whenever, and they probably also contact you frequently. I don't think the system would be helpful in those cases (mainly because the DB and the actual contacts would quickly desync and the reminders would not be on time and appropriate) so I'm left wondering what's happening there.

lelandfe 5y ago

The author explicitly says the goal of this work is for opportunities

gostsamo 5y ago
From the article: > Most importantly, I always send the kind of messages I’d like to receive. They’re short, genuine, and (ideally) helpful. I never try to sell anything and there’s no agenda other than to keep in touch. You might've read that: > So unless you have a solid system, chances are high that you won’t reach out to people regularly and miss out on a ton of fun and opportunities. but intentionally miss the fun part and treat "opportunities" only in thebusiness context and do not allow for alternative interpretations like intellectual or personal development.
WastingMyTime89 5y ago
The author says it’s the easiest and most effective way to make your life more serendipitous and that if you don’t you will miss on fun and opportunities which is very true. I never go have coffee or enjoy unforeseen activities with people I don’t speak to. Having a large network of lively relationship is indeed a sure way to have more things happening in your life. Also people enjoy other people reaching out to them. Once again there is nothing unusable in what OP is doing. Having tools to help you keep in touch with people is a necessity in any position where you need to maintain good relationships with a large number of people. It takes effort and is a good thing.
rowanajmarshall 5y ago
Yes - opportunities for house parties, for new flatmates. For joining a D&D group, or a sports team. Maybe for a new job, or a new hire. Or even a future partner.
otikik 5y ago
I don't read it as being the goal. More like one of his motivations.

gjulianm 5y ago

I think there are two sides to this: scheduling the contact and triggering the thought to contact. The first one is ok, we schedule things we care about all the time. The second one is the weird one, and to me the OP is more about the second part. If your problem is that you're busy doing things, an email in the morning (probably not the only one you have) is not going to help too much. Contacts will still get delayed in favor of other things. To me, the OP system reads like a system that doesn't help with scheduling, but with triggering the thoughts. For example, say that a friend tells me they're going through a rough time and I want to spend some time talking to them, but I'm busy and don't have that much time. The system doesn't have a "contact NOW" trigger, for example. I also find it weird that there's a "three week contact" category. I'd guess that for close contacts, something reminds you of them every once in a while, you probably don't need anything more than "hey what's up" in a message so you can send it whenever, and they probably also contact you frequently. I don't think the system would be helpful in those cases (mainly because the DB and the actual contacts would quickly desync and the reminders would not be on time and appropriate) so I'm left wondering what's happening there.