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Let me just point that the messages must be genuine and thoughtful. It is written in the article, but it seems that some people failed to notice it and accuse t

Let me just point that the messages must be genuine and thoughtful. It is written in the article, but it seems that some people failed to notice it and accuse the author of objectivization and hypocrisy.

MrYellowP 5y ago
- deleted 5y ago
  [deleted]
- gostsamo 5y ago
  Original meaning of genuine is that is original and truthful and not "looks original and truthful". Also, you just make assumptions about the person and his motivations which speaks more about you than about him. From the article: > Most importantly, I always send the kind of messages I’d like to receive. They’re short, genuine, and (ideally) helpful. I never try to sell anything and there’s no agenda other than to keep in touch.
- inopinatus 5y ago
  You’re gatekeeping the authenticity of someone else’s relationships. This tells us more about you, than it does about them.
smilespray 5y ago
They would be genuine and thoughtful if the system didn't rely on previously prepared notes such as "He publishes incredible posts on his blog". This system is more akin to how a politician or salesperson manages personal interaction for maximum effect — there's a lof of method but little sincerity involved. I'm not saying the system isn't useful to some degree, but this is a bit much for me.
- gostsamo 5y ago
  The prepared notes are for people of interest and not someone considered a contact. The goal is not to extract something, but to maintain and expand. Again, from the article: > Most importantly, I always send the kind of messages I’d like to receive. They’re short, genuine, and (ideally) helpful. I never try to sell anything and there’s no agenda other than to keep in touch.
snowwrestler 5y ago
You can also choose not to write. If the reminder email names someone you don’t feel like keeping in touch with anymore, you can just delete the email and go on with your day. It’s a system of personal reminders, not a Jira backlog to burn down.
- skydhash 5y ago
  I think many people miss this point. I'm good at conversation, but horrible at keeping in touch because I don't really perceive time in relationship. Maybe I need to develop a habit of going through my contact list, but that is very fragmented due to various platform - call, WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn. So setting a common contact book, then adding reminders can be a nice way to maintain relationship.

MrYellowP 5y ago

deleted 5y ago
[deleted]
gostsamo 5y ago
Original meaning of genuine is that is original and truthful and not "looks original and truthful". Also, you just make assumptions about the person and his motivations which speaks more about you than about him. From the article: > Most importantly, I always send the kind of messages I’d like to receive. They’re short, genuine, and (ideally) helpful. I never try to sell anything and there’s no agenda other than to keep in touch.
inopinatus 5y ago
You’re gatekeeping the authenticity of someone else’s relationships. This tells us more about you, than it does about them.

smilespray 5y ago

They would be genuine and thoughtful if the system didn't rely on previously prepared notes such as "He publishes incredible posts on his blog". This system is more akin to how a politician or salesperson manages personal interaction for maximum effect — there's a lof of method but little sincerity involved. I'm not saying the system isn't useful to some degree, but this is a bit much for me.

gostsamo 5y ago
The prepared notes are for people of interest and not someone considered a contact. The goal is not to extract something, but to maintain and expand. Again, from the article: > Most importantly, I always send the kind of messages I’d like to receive. They’re short, genuine, and (ideally) helpful. I never try to sell anything and there’s no agenda other than to keep in touch.

snowwrestler 5y ago

You can also choose not to write. If the reminder email names someone you don’t feel like keeping in touch with anymore, you can just delete the email and go on with your day. It’s a system of personal reminders, not a Jira backlog to burn down.

skydhash 5y ago
I think many people miss this point. I'm good at conversation, but horrible at keeping in touch because I don't really perceive time in relationship. Maybe I need to develop a habit of going through my contact list, but that is very fragmented due to various platform - call, WhatsApp, Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn. So setting a common contact book, then adding reminders can be a nice way to maintain relationship.