I worked at Amazon for five years. I was rated top-tier year over year. By the time I left, I was cynical. I had developed gum disease. I had become overweight.

I worked at Amazon for five years. I was rated top-tier year over year. By the time I left, I was cynical. I had developed gum disease. I had become overweight. I was a brilliant engineer (“technically fearless” in my promo feedback) and people loved working with me, but I was broken inside. I also happen to earn a small fortune, but at the cost of my physical and mental health. Amazon did not value me as a human being. Amazon managers lacked humanity. We had a crazy high bar for engineering talent, but engineering managers and technical program managers seemed to have no bar. Many of them were hired directly by the senior manager or director, brought from their former company as part of an empire building exercise. These people would squirm and flail at Amazon. They couldn’t keep up. They didn’t understand the technology. So, what happens is they project their insecurities, get behind on communications, fail to set expectations on projects… and when they panic, one outcome is some poor engineer is going to get thrown under the bus. You can be rated top tier at amazon, which is the highest rating in the company’s annual review process. Even then, you’re going to receive feedback about your weaknesses, why you’re not good enough, how you could do even better. The corporate propaganda machine has coined a term around this, “Growth Areas”. Your peers are encouraged to provide feedback on your growth areas, and in the feedback they should write specific anecdotes and stories on how you failed or why what you did was not good enough. At the end of the day, it’s a place were no matter what you do, how hard you work, how many hours you put in, how much impact you have, You will go home feeling bad about yourself. That you’re not good enough. The pace and the hours are grueling. People make decisions to build their own empire within Amazon and get their coveted Sr Manager and Director promotions. You’re just a means to an end.