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I'm mostly happy, so that's two of us :) In general, being happy is probably not something you talk about too much - it's the "normal" state of being and talki

I'm mostly happy, so that's two of us :) In general, being happy is probably not something you talk about too much - it's the "normal" state of being and talking too much about it makes you look like you're either bragging or trying to sell your two week seminar. In that regard, it's a bit like money - if you have enough, you don't talk about it much unless you get really lucky (sell company, win lottery etc), but if you're lacking it, it's on your mind all the time.

loves_mangoes 5y ago
Glad to hear it :) I think you're right in general that there's usually no point acknowledging good things, there's no lesson to learn or corrective action to take from things being good — that's just the expected state. What bothers me is I see people constantly talk about happiness like something you chase all your life, some unattainable goal that only an old sage that spent decades meditating would know anything about. Like it's a mythical thing, not the 'normal state of being', as you said. I'd really like to understand what went wrong that so many people aren't feeling the way you and me would say is normal/neutral. I've started learning psychology just to understand better, but I don't know that there's anything concrete I can do to help anyone. That sort of sucks.
- WJW 5y ago
  I'll join in, so that we can be a crowd of three! :) Definitely agree that it is not really on my mind all the time though. It is like money or oxygen that way, you only really notice when you don't have it. That might explain why we only hear about unhappy people online; the happy people simply don't post about it as much. I'll also add the insight from Epicurus that many people are confused about what brings about happiness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kg_47J6sy3A https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kg_47J6sy3A.
- nefitty 5y ago
  The idea of baseline happiness makes sense to me. I generally live at a 7-8 out of 10 and always bounce back to that level no matter what happens. Many of my friends are around that tier. My wife is 7-6. She sometimes seems incredulous about my good mood. I can't really help it.
- polishdude20 5y ago
  I think it's because we've gotten so used to seeing the riches and happiness of other people on social media and we see our merely neutral happiness as something to strive away from.
- throwaway6532 5y ago
  >that's just the expected state. It's funny that that's the expected state, because if you compute through various permutations of different geographical locations, and points in history, levels of socio-economic status etc you get a very different answer as to what the expected state is. You also realize it can change on a dime. And if you look around, it looks like it's starting to do just that.
deleted 5y ago
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bitcuration 5y ago
Why you have to be happy? lol. In fact, the normal life state for the best of survival would be far from being happy. Whenever we prefer something, think Darwin and think if it makes biological sense.
- emodendroket 5y ago
  Well if we want to talk about it in those terms, the “hedonic treadmill” suggests that if things haven’t just gotten much better or worse our levels of happiness should be pretty stable. If you were a hunter-gatherer or primitive farmer you wouldn’t have been thinking about how much better an American suburb thousands of years in the future would be than eating sandy bread.

loves_mangoes 5y ago

Glad to hear it :) I think you're right in general that there's usually no point acknowledging good things, there's no lesson to learn or corrective action to take from things being good — that's just the expected state. What bothers me is I see people constantly talk about happiness like something you chase all your life, some unattainable goal that only an old sage that spent decades meditating would know anything about. Like it's a mythical thing, not the 'normal state of being', as you said. I'd really like to understand what went wrong that so many people aren't feeling the way you and me would say is normal/neutral. I've started learning psychology just to understand better, but I don't know that there's anything concrete I can do to help anyone. That sort of sucks.

WJW 5y ago
I'll join in, so that we can be a crowd of three! :) Definitely agree that it is not really on my mind all the time though. It is like money or oxygen that way, you only really notice when you don't have it. That might explain why we only hear about unhappy people online; the happy people simply don't post about it as much. I'll also add the insight from Epicurus that many people are confused about what brings about happiness: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kg_47J6sy3A https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kg_47J6sy3A.
nefitty 5y ago
The idea of baseline happiness makes sense to me. I generally live at a 7-8 out of 10 and always bounce back to that level no matter what happens. Many of my friends are around that tier. My wife is 7-6. She sometimes seems incredulous about my good mood. I can't really help it.
polishdude20 5y ago
I think it's because we've gotten so used to seeing the riches and happiness of other people on social media and we see our merely neutral happiness as something to strive away from.
throwaway6532 5y ago
>that's just the expected state. It's funny that that's the expected state, because if you compute through various permutations of different geographical locations, and points in history, levels of socio-economic status etc you get a very different answer as to what the expected state is. You also realize it can change on a dime. And if you look around, it looks like it's starting to do just that.

deleted 5y ago

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bitcuration 5y ago

Why you have to be happy? lol. In fact, the normal life state for the best of survival would be far from being happy. Whenever we prefer something, think Darwin and think if it makes biological sense.

emodendroket 5y ago
Well if we want to talk about it in those terms, the “hedonic treadmill” suggests that if things haven’t just gotten much better or worse our levels of happiness should be pretty stable. If you were a hunter-gatherer or primitive farmer you wouldn’t have been thinking about how much better an American suburb thousands of years in the future would be than eating sandy bread.