6 ms·

“ The world, you find out, is held together by sturdy guys with beards named Jim who don’t give two sh##s about what you think or how you behave. Some of them s

“ The world, you find out, is held together by sturdy guys with beards named Jim who don’t give two sh##s about what you think or how you behave. Some of them say “God bless” and “have a blessed day” without a hint of irony.” This right here is what so many people who never leave big cities miss out on.

thebigman433 5y ago
> This right here is what so many people who never leave big cities miss out on. I think this is also a highly idealized version of these people. I grew up in the Bay Area but have spent the majority of the last 5 years in Montana. There are plenty of kind and gracious people, but there are also a huge amount of people that do actually care about how you behave and where youre from. Ive been told countless times to leave the state, go back to where Im from, etc. The culture is definitely different from cities, but anyone who tells you its all rainbows, sunshine, and people saying "god bless" no matter what is lying to you.
- wrycoder 5y ago
  Maybe they infer that you are making suggestions how they should live their lives? “Countless times” would indicate that it’s about you, not them.
  - watwut 5y ago
    Or he is just visibly noticeably different. Some rural places have in fact hostile culture. Others don't, sure, but some really do.
  - thebooktocome 5y ago
    That may be the anxiety that causes their behavior, but it’s an anxiety borne out of their own preconceptions. You don’t have to do anything in particular to set them off: mere passive existence is enough. At least, in my experience.
  - thebigman433 5y ago
    I think maybe their own anxiety about thinking an outsider is going to tell them how to live could be causing it, but Im definitely not making suggestions for them. There have been multiple times at bars where the extent of the conversation was "hey how are you" -> "oh where are you from" -> "oh why dont you go back there" and thats it. I try to fit in the best I can, but there are still obvious differences in how I dress, and probably in how I act, but I definitely wouldnt see myself as hostile towards the people around me. If someone said a lot of people in a city were rude, there probably wouldnt be second thoughts about it, but it seems that a lot of people, especially in hn-type cultures idealize rural people and how they think they will act. Somewhat tangentially, Id say that current politics and the whole "California boogeyman" make this trend significantly worse overall
- j4yav 5y ago
  Have to agree. I grew up in rural areas, and my experience was that everything around me was oriented around paying quite a lot of attention to making sure that everyone thought and especially behaved in the expected way. Moving to the city as soon as I could probably saved my life, since I was able to find a place where I could be my weird self without endless bullying from adults as well as children for being different. The part of the country I lived in, people were exceptionally (unbelievably in retrospect) cruel to Mexicans or anyone else who appeared foreign, and anyone who came across as non-straight. I don’t think there is anything wrong with rural places or people, and I know many people can find happiness there (just like they can in cities). Many people are wonderful, just like many people in cities are wonderful. Many people in both places are not. That the desert is filled with noble savages, uncorrupted by civilisation, is a fantasy though. All that said, this article reads almost like a parody of something? I’m not entirely sure it’s intended to be sincere, or if it is mocking a certain kind of city person who idealises the countryside.
- jack_h 5y ago
  This works in both directions, there's even an acknowledgement of this within the original quote, "Some of them say “God bless” and “have a blessed day” without a hint of irony.” This shouldn't even be surprising as humans are social creatures that form groups which ostracizes those that don't fit in. Cities tend to be easier simply because there are more people that will accept you, although certainly not everyone will. The more rural you get the less people there are and the more you're expected to fit in, you just don't have other options.
  - thebigman433 5y ago
    Yea Im not saying it doesnt go the other way too, Im just saying that people idealize rural living and the people who do it as extremely kind and caring or whatever, when its generally no different than living in a city.
    - calumetregion 5y ago
      It is much different. People who live in more dense environments experience more stress, and stressed people behave differently, they interact (or don't interact) with people differently. You are 2X more likely to have schizophrenia in a city, and this signal is much stronger than genetics. More than a third of all schizophrenia cases would be prevented if people were not born and raised in cities. And the higher the population density, the higher the prevalence. What causes this? Environmental toxins? Noise? Too much stimulation? You have a 70% higher risk of a psychotic episode in a city. I've lived all over the place, including DC, Chicago and LA. I like the energy, but res ipsa loquitur.
      - calumetregion 5y ago
        Large cities would not exist without agriculture. Agriculture is a technology. I understand why it's not popular to talk about this stuff. We're pretty much stuck with all of it, I get it.
_jal 5y ago
My family moved to the rural South when I was 11. I was never accepted, my mom finally was after about 20 years. Part of it for me was that I think a bit differently and want different things than most other folks. But a bigger part was that this little Bible Belt town really was intolerant of that, far less so than the urban areas I've lived since then. They simply were more authoritarian and insecure in reaction to someone that didn't want they wanted. Yes, there are good folk in rural areas; in my experience, they're about the same proportion as of good folk in urban areas. And I see no difference in competence; some difference in what people are competent at, sure. (Me, I still spend a lot of time making things, and I'm going to be rebuilding a run-down house this year that I'll probably have to hire someone to help with, but otherwise am doing myself.) I'm really, truly sick of the urban vs. rural culture war garbage. Romanticize whatever you like, that's the nature of how humans relate to their communities. But here's a hint: if that requires shitting on other ways of life, you're being defensive and insecure.
pnathan 5y ago
Really? Because those people work in the city. It reveals more about who you deal with in the city if you don't meet or see them. Although, in a lot of the US, their skin might not be white, and, thus, have a name of Jose or Gurdeep...
bsder 5y ago
Yeah, I grew up in a "rural" area and one of the big problems is that there are a bunch of little tyrants that are always up in your business. In a city, nobody gives a shit about you unless you specifically poke them--and maybe not even then.

thebigman433 5y ago

> This right here is what so many people who never leave big cities miss out on. I think this is also a highly idealized version of these people. I grew up in the Bay Area but have spent the majority of the last 5 years in Montana. There are plenty of kind and gracious people, but there are also a huge amount of people that do actually care about how you behave and where youre from. Ive been told countless times to leave the state, go back to where Im from, etc. The culture is definitely different from cities, but anyone who tells you its all rainbows, sunshine, and people saying "god bless" no matter what is lying to you.

wrycoder 5y ago
Maybe they infer that you are making suggestions how they should live their lives? “Countless times” would indicate that it’s about you, not them.
- watwut 5y ago
  Or he is just visibly noticeably different. Some rural places have in fact hostile culture. Others don't, sure, but some really do.
- thebooktocome 5y ago
  That may be the anxiety that causes their behavior, but it’s an anxiety borne out of their own preconceptions. You don’t have to do anything in particular to set them off: mere passive existence is enough. At least, in my experience.
- thebigman433 5y ago
  I think maybe their own anxiety about thinking an outsider is going to tell them how to live could be causing it, but Im definitely not making suggestions for them. There have been multiple times at bars where the extent of the conversation was "hey how are you" -> "oh where are you from" -> "oh why dont you go back there" and thats it. I try to fit in the best I can, but there are still obvious differences in how I dress, and probably in how I act, but I definitely wouldnt see myself as hostile towards the people around me. If someone said a lot of people in a city were rude, there probably wouldnt be second thoughts about it, but it seems that a lot of people, especially in hn-type cultures idealize rural people and how they think they will act. Somewhat tangentially, Id say that current politics and the whole "California boogeyman" make this trend significantly worse overall
j4yav 5y ago
Have to agree. I grew up in rural areas, and my experience was that everything around me was oriented around paying quite a lot of attention to making sure that everyone thought and especially behaved in the expected way. Moving to the city as soon as I could probably saved my life, since I was able to find a place where I could be my weird self without endless bullying from adults as well as children for being different. The part of the country I lived in, people were exceptionally (unbelievably in retrospect) cruel to Mexicans or anyone else who appeared foreign, and anyone who came across as non-straight. I don’t think there is anything wrong with rural places or people, and I know many people can find happiness there (just like they can in cities). Many people are wonderful, just like many people in cities are wonderful. Many people in both places are not. That the desert is filled with noble savages, uncorrupted by civilisation, is a fantasy though. All that said, this article reads almost like a parody of something? I’m not entirely sure it’s intended to be sincere, or if it is mocking a certain kind of city person who idealises the countryside.
jack_h 5y ago
This works in both directions, there's even an acknowledgement of this within the original quote, "Some of them say “God bless” and “have a blessed day” without a hint of irony.” This shouldn't even be surprising as humans are social creatures that form groups which ostracizes those that don't fit in. Cities tend to be easier simply because there are more people that will accept you, although certainly not everyone will. The more rural you get the less people there are and the more you're expected to fit in, you just don't have other options.
- thebigman433 5y ago
  Yea Im not saying it doesnt go the other way too, Im just saying that people idealize rural living and the people who do it as extremely kind and caring or whatever, when its generally no different than living in a city.
  - calumetregion 5y ago
    It is much different. People who live in more dense environments experience more stress, and stressed people behave differently, they interact (or don't interact) with people differently. You are 2X more likely to have schizophrenia in a city, and this signal is much stronger than genetics. More than a third of all schizophrenia cases would be prevented if people were not born and raised in cities. And the higher the population density, the higher the prevalence. What causes this? Environmental toxins? Noise? Too much stimulation? You have a 70% higher risk of a psychotic episode in a city. I've lived all over the place, including DC, Chicago and LA. I like the energy, but res ipsa loquitur.
    - calumetregion 5y ago
      Large cities would not exist without agriculture. Agriculture is a technology. I understand why it's not popular to talk about this stuff. We're pretty much stuck with all of it, I get it.

_jal 5y ago

My family moved to the rural South when I was 11. I was never accepted, my mom finally was after about 20 years. Part of it for me was that I think a bit differently and want different things than most other folks. But a bigger part was that this little Bible Belt town really was intolerant of that, far less so than the urban areas I've lived since then. They simply were more authoritarian and insecure in reaction to someone that didn't want they wanted. Yes, there are good folk in rural areas; in my experience, they're about the same proportion as of good folk in urban areas. And I see no difference in competence; some difference in what people are competent at, sure. (Me, I still spend a lot of time making things, and I'm going to be rebuilding a run-down house this year that I'll probably have to hire someone to help with, but otherwise am doing myself.) I'm really, truly sick of the urban vs. rural culture war garbage. Romanticize whatever you like, that's the nature of how humans relate to their communities. But here's a hint: if that requires shitting on other ways of life, you're being defensive and insecure.

pnathan 5y ago

Really? Because those people work in the city. It reveals more about who you deal with in the city if you don't meet or see them. Although, in a lot of the US, their skin might not be white, and, thus, have a name of Jose or Gurdeep...

bsder 5y ago

Yeah, I grew up in a "rural" area and one of the big problems is that there are a bunch of little tyrants that are always up in your business. In a city, nobody gives a shit about you unless you specifically poke them--and maybe not even then.